


Wyatt Hill

by lostnthesound



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2015-12-09
Packaged: 2018-04-18 18:44:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4716590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostnthesound/pseuds/lostnthesound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU: Cosima finds herself on parole after a night of drunken partying leads to a DUI. Luckily, her Aunt Siobhan has an opening for a new naturalist (counselor) at the outdoor education school she runs. Cosima is truly dreading spending her entire summer in the woods, that is, until she meets the stunning senior naturalist, Delphine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was 10:43 on a Friday evening when Cosima Niehaus first got wasted. She had never really been a fan of alcohol, probably because it only took two shots for her to feel like shit the next morning. Whenever her friends wanted to party, she would just smoke a bowl and relax. She didn’t want to relax that night, though. She just wanted to forget. So when Andrew from her Organic Chemistry lab had invited her to a house party back at his frat for the billionth time, she found herself accepting the invite for the first time.

When the officers the next morning asked her about the party, Cosima didn’t remember much. She remembered taking too many shots of Fireball. She remembered gyrating to the booming EDM with a hot blonde, the music’s bass pounding in sync with her rapidly beating heart. She remembered taking the woman upstairs and watching her come undone beneath her, despite not knowing her name. She didn’t remember leaving the party. She certainly didn’t remember driving her car into a telephone pole, a block from her house.

But the police had footage from the nearby traffic light, and the nurse had the results of her blood test showing her blood alcohol levels at .21.

She cannot forget the judge’s scratchy voice as he sentenced Cosima to three months of probation. She cannot forget the look of disappointment in her grandmother’s eyes when she picked Cosima up from the courthouse. She _refused_ to forget the warmth and understanding that she so easily heard in her Aunt Siobhan’s voice when she first called to ask for help.

Siobhan Sadler was not of any blood relation to Cosima Niehaus, but that never stopped the older woman from treating Cosima like family. Back in college, Siobhan and Cosima’s mother, Anne, had been roommates. The two were inseparable. That is, until Siobhan was offered her dream job working at an outdoor education school in Northern California. Twenty-five years later, Siobhan now ran the school, Wyatt Hill Ranch, and Cosima was stuck in a rickety old bus on her way to the campus.

Cosima had always disliked buses. She was always the smallest in her class, and was often teased in the unsupervised school bus. It wasn’t until today, however, that Cosima realized she despised them. Her hatred might have had something to do with the lack of air conditioning or the multitude of pot holes in the road. If Cosima had been honest with herself, though, she would find that she didn’t hate the bus, she hated where the bus was leading her.  

When Siobhan first learned about the specifications of Cosima’s parole, she insisted that her niece worked the three months of her school vacation at Wyatt Hill’s summer program. After all, Cosima needed to be employed and the ranch provided free room and board for all of their naturalists.

Siobhan saw the plan as mutually beneficial for both parties, but Cosima couldn’t help but dread the next ten weeks in Marin. The ranch just held too many memories that she just wasn’t ready to confront.

After an hour of winding through bumpy old roads in the golden Marin hills, the bus abruptly came to a stop in the middle of nowhere.

“Excuse me,” Cosima questioned the driver. He raised a bushy eyebrow at her in his rearview mirror.

“Is this the stop for Wyatt Hill?” He nodded silently. Cosima winced as she looked down the long winding road into a thick forest of trees.

“Granted it’s been a really long time since I’ve been to the campus, but I’m pretty sure it had like buildings and cabins and whatnot.”

The sleepy bus driver’s face remained as stoic as ever. “It’s just down the road,” he drawled.

It took every ounce of willpower the young brunette had to not roll her eyes at the infuriating old man. Instead, she picked up her backpack and duffle bag, shuffled through the empty seats, and exited the rickety bus.

In a few minutes the vehicle had finally disappeared around a bend. Cosima turned towards the school’s entrance and began to lug her bags into the forest. She walked steadily for a solid ten minutes until a melodious bird call distracted her from her destination. The brunette wandered a few feet off of the road into the dense forest, but couldn’t seem to find the bird whose call she found so enchanting.

She stepped out onto what appeared to be a sturdy ledge to further investigate the bird when suddenly the ground gave way. It took a few moments for Cosima to notice she was no longer standing up right on the cliff, but now tumbling down into a small raving. The petite woman crashed into a streaming creek down below.

Cosima didn’t dare move. The icy cold water flowed slowly around her, but she couldn’t find it in her to climb out. Maybe this was how things were supposed to go, she thought. This seemed like an easy way to go. After all, it would only take a few minutes for her oxygen deprived brain to just go loopy. She would rather die loopy than coughing up blood and gasping for air like her mother did.

It seemed the cards were not aligned for Cosima to die that afternoon, though. Before she could decide to stand or not, she felt two strong arms wrap around her torso and pull her from the shallow water. Instinctually, she gasped for breath as soon as she reached the surface. Whoever had saved her from the water didn’t let go of Cosima until she was safely resting on the bank.

“Are you alright?” Cosima froze upon hearing the warm voice with a thick French accent

The soaking wet brunette slowly turned towards her savior. There, crouched behind Cosima, sat the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Her blonde wavy hair glistened in the sunlight streaming through the oak trees.

“Huh?” Cosima replied ever so gracefully.

The blonde smiled, causing Cosima’s stomach to feel like butter on hot bread. She picked up Cosima’s hands and slowly began investigating her palms and arms. The taller woman’s face grew more and more concerned at each cut she found on the soaking wet girl.

“We aren’t far from my cabin. If you think you can make it, I would be happy to get you bandaged up.”

Cosima shook her head, “Oh, no. I’m fine-”

“Please,” the woman interrupted. “I insist.”

Cosima can’t help but smile at the woman.

“Did you lose anything at the top of the hill?” the blonde questioned.

“Just my bags… and my dignity.”

The woman chuckled, “I will get Felix to grab those for you.”

“Oh, Felix,” Cosima could’t help but feel disappointed. “It must be romantic, living out in the woods with your boyfriend.”

A loud laugh poured from the blonde’s mouth. “Oh I don’t think I could handle having Felix as a boyfriend. He’s my best friend.” She winks at Cosima.

At that point, Cosima decided it was best to keep her mouth shut until they arrived at the other woman’s cabin. That way she could spare herself from any more embarrassing situations.

The blonde woman wound through the trees expertly. She obviously knew these woods like the back of her hand. Out of nowhere, a small wooden cabin appeared within a small clearing. Cosima followed the taller woman inside her cabin. She gestured at the kitchen table, and Cosima quickly took a seat.

“So, what are you doing out here in the woods, uh-”

“Cosima,” the brunette replied. “I’m, uh, here to work at this dinky summer camp my aunt runs just down the road.”

The other woman raised her brows but did not question any further.

“And you? Why is such a beautiful woman, as yourself, hidden out in these woods?”

Before the blonde had a chance to answer, the door to her cabin swung open. There in the threshold is none other than Siobhan Sadler.

“Aunt Siobhan?” Cosima glanced between the woman wrapping her injuries and her aunt.

“Cosima, love,” Siobhan squealed. “When did you get here? I see you’ve already met our senior naturalist, Delphine.”

Cosima’s mouth hung open as she stared at Delphine. “Y-you-”

Delphine’s smile was forced. “Yes, I work at that…”she cleared her throat, “camp down the road you were mentioning.”


	2. Chapter 2

“You alright, Chicken?” Siobhan questioned her uncharacteristically quiet niece on their walk to camp.

Cosima shrugged. She had just insulted a dazzlingly beautiful French woman who had saved her life. Besides that, she was on parole, wasn’t quite sure if she still wanted to major in Biology, had just contemplated letting herself drown, and to top it all off, she had a wicked case of cramps.

But Cosima didn’t say any of this, instead she just muttered, “Fine.”

The older woman wrapped an arm around her as they walked in sync.

“I cannot tell you how excited I am to have you here this summer.”

Cosima smiled genuinely at Siobhan. She forgot how much she enjoyed the older woman’s presence. It had been a long time since Cosima had felt loved and wanted. She rested her head on Siobhan’s shoulder.

“It’s really great to see you,” the dreadlocked women sighed.

“You’re gonna get sick of seeing me after this summer,” Siobhan chuckled.

Cosima kissed the older woman’s check. “Impossible.”

Siobhan’s eyes welled up slightly, but she quickly got ahold of her emotions. “So, you will be staying in Salmon cabin,” she cleared her throat. “You’ll be sharing the place with three other naturalists, but they are currently out on the trails, so you will have the place to yourself while you get settled.”

Her cabin was situated right near the mess hall and campfire ground, which made Cosima particularly happy because she could literally just roll out of bed in the morning. True to Siobhan’s word, the place was empty when she opened the door. The room wasn’t much, just four beds and side tables separated by half walls. There propped on the only unmade bed were her backpack and duffel bag.

“Huh,” Cosima tuts. “That was fast.”

It didn’t take long for her to unpack all her things. When putting together the clothes she would wear this summer, Cosima hadn’t packed much. She figured there would be no one to impress at this hippie oasis. Her mind wandered back to Delphine, her bright eyes and easy smile. Cosima found herself desperately wishing she had packed some more flattering clothing.

Just as she had finished folding up her towels, the cabin door popped open.

“Oh hello,” a cheeky smirk seemed to be permanently planted on the British boy who walked in.

“Hey, uh, Cosima,” she stuck her hand out towards the effeminate young man.

He shook it daintily. “Felix. Charmed to meet you. I’m in that bed across the way.”

“This place is more liberal than I thought, men and women in one cabin?” Cosima chuckled.

Felix shrugged, “Binaries are so dull, don’t you think?

“Totally.”

The British boy squinted at her. “I’m getting a bit of a Sapphic vibe from you… am I totally off?”

Cosima shook her head, amused by the boy’s antics. “Good gaydar.”

“It takes one to know one!”

“If that were true, high school would’ve been a much easier time for me,” Cosima chuckled.

Felix sighed dramatically, “You are preaching to the choir, love.” He quickly grabbed her hand and tugged her towards the door. “Come on, it is time for Siobhan’s ceremonial pairing off.”

He must have been able to see Cosima’s confusion on her face because he quickly began to clarify. “You know, new naturalists with old naturalists. Siobhan really likes the buddy system. I’m not one to complain, though. I’ve gotten a good shag from each of my buddy’s over the past two summers.”

“That’s allowed?!”

Felix raised an eyebrow at her, “What else are you planning to do out in the middle of the woods?”

Cosima shrugged, “I don’t know, hike?”

He shook his head at her. “You have a lot to learn. Come on, I’m excited to see all the fresh meat.”

When the two finally make it to the small amphitheater surrounding the campfire, her eyes are instantly drawn to Delphine. The blonde woman is standing chatting with a few other young adults. The group looks like they have stepped right out of an REI catalogue.

“Oh no,” Felix groaned.

“What?” Cosima replied defensively.

“Please don’t tell me you are crushing on the French poodle.”

Cosima frowned, “What? She’s hot.”

Felix rolled his eyes in response and then decided he would rather inspect his cuticles than carry on this conversation.

“Good afternoon, my lovely naturalists!” Siobhan called out. “If you could all find a seat I will get through the buddy pair off as quickly as possible. I know you can all smell Hector’s world-famous pizza coming out of the oven and I promise we will be heading right over directly after our brief meeting.”

A few of the naturalists cheered at this.

Siobhan started to pair off the naturalists. Out of the 15 working that summer, only two were completely new. Many of the other naturalists had either worked previous summers, or were cabin leaders sometime during the year.  

“Alright, now down to our newbies!” Siobhan smirked. “Many of you probably remember Sarah Manning. She has been coming to the camp since she was a wee one herself. As for our other new naturalist, Cosima Niehaus, she is a very close family friend of mine and I know she will fit in here swimmingly.”

Cosima tried to smile at this, but it came out as more of a wince.

“I’ve decided to pair these two up with our most senior of naturalists,” Siobhan smiled over at Sarah and Cosima. “Sarah you will be with Cal Morrison. He is in charge of campus morale.”

Cal, who is dressed in cargo shorts and a Wyatt Hill t-shirt, tipped his baseball cap at Sarah.

“And Cos, you will be training with Delphine Cormier. She is in charge of our curriculum.”

The world around them faded as Cosima locked eyes with the senior naturalist. She couldn’t quite read the other woman’s expression. She could tell one thing, though. Delphine did not look too pleased to be her new partner.

“Now that everything is sorted, I think it’s about time for us to grab some grub! To the caf,” Siobhan shouted joyously.

A couple of the more eager male counselors jogged the 200 feet to the cafeteria.

Felix scoffed at their eagerness, “Ugh, heteros.”

He linked his arm with Cosima once more and the two headed off towards dinner.

The group sat family style at a large cafeteria table. Cosima was, of course, directly across from Delphine. She wasn’t particularly happy about eating pizza for dinner. It wasn’t that she didn’t love the food, it was just that she wasn’t the most graceful when eating it. How the hell was she supposed to impress Delphine when she had mozzarella burning her chin? Eating with a fork and knife was not an option, though, so she decided incredibly smile bites were necessary.

“So,” Cal, who was sitting right beside Delphine, spoke up, “What brings you to Wyatt Hill?

Cosima’s palms began to sweat as she tried to remain calm. “Uh, you know, just needed the cash for the summer,” she replied in what she hoped was a nonchalant tone.

She glanced at Delphine from the corner of her eye. This answer didn’t seem to impress her.

“I mean, I study bio and all that, and Siobhan had an opening, so it seemed like a good fit,” she tried to elaborate but the blonde’s expression did not change.

“Cool,” Cal replied. “How about you, Sarah?”

The brunette woman’s curly hair was pulled up in a messy bun. She shrugged. “I , uh, just got out of the foster system. Siobhan knew I didn’t have a place to stay, so she offered me the gig.”

Delphine smiled warmly at the other woman, “Well it’s great to have you back, Sarah.”

Cosima felt foolish for being slightly jealous of the other woman getting such a warm welcome from the blonde. After all, Sarah did look uncomfortable sharing the information, but Cosima couldn’t help but want all of Delphine’s attention to herself. What had she done wrong?

“I’m a bit tired from all the traveling, so I think I’m going to hit the hay,” Cosima announced.

She quickly ate the last bite of her pizza, cleared her plate, and shuffled out the front doors. Siobhan eyed Delphine and gestured her head toward the door. The senior naturalist looked at the camp leader skeptically, but stood up after Siobhan’s eyebrow rose.

It didn’t take long for Delphine to find Cosima. The brunette was running her fingers over some letters carved into a tree by the campfire.

Delphine cleared her throat.

Cosima looked up, obviously startled by the intrusion.

“Siobhan wanted me to see if you’re okay,” Delphine asked, but didn’t seem too eager for the answer.

“I’m fine,” Cosima replied automatically.

Delphine nodded and turned back towards the cafeteria.

“Did I do something wrong?” the brunette questioned.

“No, Cosima,” Delphine retorted.

“Are you sure because you seem to really not like me…”

Delphine’s face fell. “I just know your type.”

“My type?” Cosima scoffed.

“Yes. You come here to work, taking advantage of Siobhan and her kindness. You probably don’t even realize how much good this place does, how much it helps the campers, how much Siobhan helps her naturalists.”

Cosima tried to get a word in, but Delphine continued ranting. “I get it, okay? You see this school and everyone in it as some derailment of your plan, some subplot of your life. But this place, these people, they are some of the kindest most caring individuals you will ever meet and they certainly don’t deserve your cruelty.”

“She told you, didn’t she?” Cosima replied.

Delphine’s face sobered up quickly.

“So you know about my DUI? My parole?”

The blonde woman nodded curtly.

Cosima bit her lip and looked back at the tree carving.

“My mom did this when I was like ten,” Cosima’s voice was hoarse. She laughed sadly. “AN loves CN.”

Her eyes quickly filled with tears. She didn’t dare look back at the blonde woman behind her.

“The night of the DUI, the accident, was a particularly brutal double whammy. About a week prior, my doctor told me I had polyps in my lungs, eerily similar to the ones that killed my mom. “

She could hear Delphine gasp from behind, but she still couldn’t face the woman.

“I mean I wasn’t feeling too great about that, but I knew it was always a possibility, so I was dealing with it the best I could. The night of the accident, though. I, uh, I realized something.”

“What?” Delphine whispered. Cosima turned to face the blonde woman.

“It had been exactly seven years since my mom died. Which, you know, might not be that particularly devastating. Like in comparison to the first or second years. But a funny thing happens with the body after seven years. It literally replaces every single one of your cells. That’s how long it takes for you to get all new skin, a new heart, hell even a new brain.”

Delphine frowned. “What does-”

Tears were freely streaming down Cosima’s face at this point. “There is literally not a single piece of me that is the same as when my mom was alive. N-not a single piece of me has touched her. Th-that thought s-seemed a bit too unbearable to me.”

Delphine reached out to touch Cosima’s hand but the she jerked her hand away.

“So I’m sorry if I don’t really want to be here, but this is the only place left that really reminds me of her, and I just don’t think I can handle that right now.”

At that, Cosima quickly turned away from Delphine and walked off briskly towards her cabin.

Cosima could hear Delphine calling her name in the distance, but she didn’t feel like talking to the woman anymore. Instead she walked into her cabin, pulled off her pants, and climbed into bed.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning Cosima woke up feeling hung-over. This often happened when she fell asleep crying. She rose from bed to find all her roommates, Sarah, Felix and another woman with wild blonde hair she remembered someone introducing as Helena, all still asleep. Cosima pulled on some cargo shorts and slung her dreads back in a bun.

The sun was just rising over the hills surrounding the campus when she exited the cabin. She vaguely recalled Siobhan telling her that the first day of training tended to be the most fun, but Cosima was in no mood to do ice breakers with a bunch of strangers. Quite frankly she was embarrassed by her behavior the previous day. She had been rude and ungrateful.

It was because of this that she froze upon entering the cafeteria.  The large hall was empty save for one mesmerizing blonde sipping on a cup of coffee near the large fireplace. Delphine must have heard Cosima enter because she quickly whipped her eyes away from the fire and towards the smaller brunette.

“Good morning,” Cosima uttered quietly.

Worry is painted across Delphine’s face. “Cosima, I-

“Please, I need to apologize, I’m sorry for my rudeness yesterday. You’re right, I was being unappreciative,” Cosima interrupted.

“No, no,” Delphine replied. “I am the one that should be apologizing. I had no right to judge you before knowing the full story.”

Cosima shrugged, “It still doesn’t excuse my behavior.”

Delphine smiled softly, “I understand why you acted that way. It must have been incredibly difficult coming here yesterday. It’s just… this place, these people, they took me in when I had nothing. I’m fiercely loyal to them and I don’t take lightly to people criticizing it.”

The brunette nodded. “I completely get it. Can, uh… Can we start over?”

Delphine shook her head. “Nope. I kind of like our introduction taking place in the creek. It seems fitting.”

Cosima chuckled. “Alright, alright. How about this? You give me a new chance, and I will give the ranch one?”

She stuck out her hand. Delphine eyed it pretending to be suspicious before cracking a smile and shaking it.

“You have a deal, Niehaus.”

“Good.” The two stared at each other for a moment, neither quite remembering to let go of the others’ hand.

They broke from the trance when Felix dramatically burst into the dining hall, still in his pajamas. He trudged up to the pair, yanked on Cosima’s arm and pulled her toward the kitchen without even acknowledging Delphine.

“Wh-what are you doing?” the dreadlocked woman cried, already missing the warmth of Delphine’s hand in hers.

“You’re on breakfast duty with me,” he replied, obviously annoyed. “You would have found out last night if you’d stayed at dinner long enough to hear our meal assignments for the week.

Cosima groaned.

“Hey! None of that,” Felix chirped as they walked into the kitchen. “At least we only have to pull out some cereal and scramble up a few eggs. Be grateful you have one less breakfast duty with the campers.”

She sighed and pulled out two-dozen eggs, resigned to her fate.

Felix was already refilling plastic Tupperware full of cereal. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you and Blondie canoodling by the fireplace,” he jeered.

The egg mixture sizzled as she poured it into the large pan. “That was nothing,” Cosima muttered.

Felix sneered at her. “I didn’t take you as the modest type. It’s rather boring and entirely unnecessary.”

“She does seem kinda into me doesn’t she?”

The effeminate main scoffed, “Lesbians.”

With that he shuffled out of the kitchen, precariously balancing all the cereal in his arms. Cosima was pulling the freshly scrambled eggs off of the stove when he returned.

“I think you should come with me to the garden sometime today,” he declared upon reentering.

“Uh, I don’t have much of a green thumb.”

Felix scrunched up his face in disgust. “Oh no, me neither. We aren’t going to be doing any gardening, my dear. That is where we keep the best herbs.”

“Okay, I’m intrigued.”

The taller man shrugged. “We can’t keep much out there without Mrs. S getting suspicious, but sometimes you just need a little breather from all the little cherubs.

“Weed at the hippie camp. I should’ve known.”

He held the door for her as she brought out the massive tray of eggs. The hall was now buzzing with early morning energy as naturalists arrived and quickly satisfied their caffeine cravings.

Sarah and Cal were sitting over by Delphine at the fire place.

“How long until those two hook-up you think?” Felix questioned.

To be perfectly honest, Cosima hadn’t even noticed Sarah and Cal’s playful banter or innocent touches. She was too focused on their blonde companion. Cal was incredibly animated while telling a story to the two women. His arms flit around the air above him, but even that could not draw her eyes away from Delphine.

“Oi!” Felix nudged her. “No drooling on the potatoes.”

Subtlety was not a gift the young man possessed, so naturally Delphine heard his outburst. She looked away from Cal and over to Cosima. The two women locked eyes. Cosima was sure the heat radiating from her cheeks meant she was blushing, so she quickly tried to busy herself with the buffet set-up.

At about 11 am, the group had finished breakfast and getting ready for the day. Siobhan had insisted that they reconvened at the top of Wyatt Hill, the camp’s namesake and tallest peak. The entire trek up, Cosima felt blisters forming on her heels. She was already regretting not investing in a nicer pair of hiking boots.

“Good morning, my loves,” Siobhan greeted all the naturalists after they had taken a seat. “As you all know, campers arrive tomorrow morning. Our new naturalists, Sarah and Cosima, will continue their training with their partners throughout the first few weeks, but the rest of you will be done with training after today.”

The naturalists let out some scattered cheers.

“Alright, alright, don’t get cheeky on me,” Siobhan warned good-naturedly. “I promise I won’t take up much of your day today with silly games. I know a lot of you want to get a head start on your programs for the week. So quick, get with your buddy.”

Cosima swiftly spotted Delphine in the crowd and walked over towards her.

“Great, now the senior partner should have the bandanas I gave them at breakfast, right?”

Delphine pulled hers out of her back pocket, much to Cosima’s surprise.

“Please tie that bandana around your new partner’s face, ensuring that they cannot see.”

The blonde woman stood behind Cosima and carefully wrapped the bright red piece of fabric across her eyes. The entire time Delphine was tying the bandana, Cosima chuckled nervously.

“You alright?” Delphine whispered in her ear, causing goosebumps to sprout on Cosima’s neck. She nodded in response.

“Good. Senior naturalists, you can now take your partner wherever you’d like. The only catch is, you must make it to Walker Creek by lunch. Good luck!” Siobhan called out to them.

Slowly, Cosima felt Delphine’s long fingers lace with hers. With a slight tug on her arm, the two were off. It was strange to explore the forest this way. At first Cosima truly missed seeing the world around her. She loved looking at the fragmented streams of light that hit the forest floor and spotting birds high up in the branches. Soon enough, though, her other senses took over and the forest came alive in a whole new way. She could feel the branches cracking beneath her shoes, hear the goldfinches sing.

The two wandered through the wilderness for a solid thirty minutes. Every time Cosima wavered, Delphine gripped onto the smaller woman tighter until she was sure that Cosima was steady. The give and take between the pair was easy. 

After a while Cosima could hear the trickling of the creek nearby. She knew they were nearing the end of the hike and couldn’t help but hope for the trek to go on a little longer, just so she could keep holding Delphine’s hand.

“We are going to cross a small bridge,” Delphine whispered beside her. “We will have to go single file.”

“Oh, um, okay.”

At that, Delphine fell behind Cosima and placed her hands on the smaller woman’s hips.

“It is only about eight steps across.”

Cosima tentatively began to walk across the bridge. About halfway across the bridge her foot got caught in a loose plank and in one swift motion the two collapsed in a pile. After a few moments of stunned silence a loud laugh burst from Cosima’s mouth.

“Oh shit!” She cried out. “I thought I was going to die there for a minute.”

The blindfold had fallen down her face during the fall. She glanced over at Delphine only to find the woman eyeing her warily.

“Are you alright?”

“Why didn’t you get out of the creek yesterday?” the blonde questioned softly.

Cosima frowned. “What do you mean?”

“It’s only three feet deep. You only got a few cuts and bruises… Why did you not try to get up?”

The brunette swallowed and looked away from her partner, uncomfortable with where this conversation was going.

“I don’t know,” Cosima replied quietly.  “Is, uh, that the creek Siobhan wanted us to get to down there.”

Delphine nodded.

After pulling on her backpack, Cosima reached out a hand and helped pull Delphine up. The two walked down the hillside to the creek in silence. The brunette women sat on a log near the water. She pulled out a pack of trail mix she had snuck from the cafeteria that morning and began to munch on the snack while Delphine fiddled with a twig.

The silence hung thick in the air around them.

“We’re good, right?

The blonde looked over contemplatively. “Yeah, we’re good.”

Cosima knew the matter wasn’t dropped, though.


	4. Chapter 4

The sun was barely beginning to rise when Cosima was brutally awoken from her sleep by a hiking boot colliding with her head.

“Oi, Dreads. Shut up Blondie, will ya?” Felix groaned from his corner of the cabin.

Sure enough, the more consciousness that seeped into the Cosima’s mind the more aware she became of the incessant knocking coming from the front door. As her feet touched the chilled wooden floor, goosebumps quickly covered her skin. She pulled her tattered sweater tighter around her shoulders and trudged over to the door.

“Bonjour Cosima,” Delphine greeted Cosima much too cheerily for anyone up before the sun.

Cosima squinted out at Delphine, confused by the blonde’s presence, “Good morning?”

Delphine offered a mason jar full of hot tea to Cosima. The brunette just stared at the jar.

“We have an hour until breakfast and then the campers start arriving, so I figured we should get together to make sure we are both on the same page for our hiking group,” the blonde rambled on.

Cosima slowly reached out and put her fingers over Delphine’s mouth.

“Okay, okay. I’ll go with you. Just let me get some pants on first.”

The blonde’s eyes widened, her gaze quickly trailing down Cosima’s body. Delphine’s cheeks flushed bright red upon seeing the brunette’s tight boy shorts.

Cosima smirked and turned away from Delphine.

“Delphine, do you mind not drooling on the porch? I just cleaned that,” Felix quipped from his bed.

In response, Cosima chucked his boot back across the room at him.

“Don’t get your panties in a bunch,” he murmured as he pulled the covers back over his head.

The dreadlocked woman pulled on a pair of jeans and her glasses before grabbing the tea from Delphine and shutting the cabin door.

“Sorry for that,” Cosima muttered.

“Ah you have no reason to apologize for Felix. He and I have known each other since we were very young. He just likes to… tease me, I suppose.”

Cosima nodded in response and took a long sip of her tea.

“Show him a brunette woman, and he automatically assumes I want to seduce her,” Delphine mentioned off-handedly.

Cosima’s face flushed red as she choked on her tea.

“You alright?” Delphine questioned, concern splashed across her face.

It took a minute for Cosima to catch her breath. “Yeah, just warn a girl before you talk about seducing her.”

Delphine’s eyes widened in shock, “Oh, I didn’t mean-”

Cosima cut her off with a wave of her hand, “It’s fine. I’m not your type. Totally get it. I’m not going to like jump your bones, or whatever.”

It wasn’t until Cosima had made it to cafeteria that she noticed Delphine wasn’t by her side still. She turned back around and noticed the blonde frozen in place.

“I’m sorry am I making this totally awkward?” Cosima questioned, absent-mindedly playing with her hair.

The two locked eyes.

“That’s not what I said.”

“What isn’t?”

Delphine bit her lip, the wheels turning in her mind.

“Delphine?”

“That you aren’t-“

Just at that moment, Mrs. S exited the storage shed, a large kayak balanced precariously atop her head.

“Oi oi, Cos,” Mrs. S greeted. “Mind grabbing the other kayak from the shed and bringing it out to the lake with me?”

Cosima glanced between Delphine and Mrs. S obviously torn.

“Sorry, am I interrupting something?” the older woman wondered aloud, clearly aware of the tension between the two women.

“No, it’s fine Siobhan,” Delphine replied softly. “Cosima, I will meet you at the bus loop in an hour.”

With that the blonde turned swiftly and walked away from the two women.

“Oh Cosima,” Siobhan clucked.

The woman in question hoisted a kayak above her head and began to follow her aunt over to the lake. “What?”

“It’s the first day of camp and you already have girl drama. I should’ve known.” Siobhan easily wound through the thick grouping of trees, with Cosima barely managing to keep up.

“What did I do?” she replied defensively as the two walked right into a cow pasture.

“Beats me!” the older woman called out, “but that woman is the closest thing you will find to an angel roaming on this Earth. Don’t fuck it up, love.”

Cosima groaned as the two finally made it to the lake. She carelessly tossed the small boat into the water. “There’s nothing to fuck up.”

Siobhan sat down on the dock and patted the space next to her. It took a few minutes, but Cosima eventually joined her aunt on the dock. She leaned her head against the older woman’s shoulder.

“Are you alright, Chicken?”

Cosima sighed, “I don’t know.”

Siobhan kissed her forehead. “I know it’s been rough going for you.”

“You can say that again.”

The older woman wrapped her arm around her niece.

“What did the doctor’s say?” Siobhan whispered.

“Nothing I don’t already know.” Cosima stood up and walked back to shore.

“Cos.”

The dreadlocked woman closed her eyes and let the summer breeze caress her face. With each inhale she could feel the slight rattle of her lungs.

“It’s the same as what she had. Probably more progressive.”

She felt fingers interlace with her own.

“I know I can’t actually do anything to get rid of this disease, but I’m not letting you go through this on your own, okay? You can stay here as long as you’d like. I’ll take you to appointments, even spoon-feed you porridge if it comes to that. We’ll fight it together, okay?”

Unable to speak, Cosima just nodded in response.

“Come on, love. We’ve got some kiddos comin’ who are gonna need a whole lot of lovin’. You ready?”

The two began the walk back through the woods, hands intertwined, hearts heavy. The closer they got the main buildings, the louder the buzz of children’s excitement became.

As soon as the bus loop came into view the two women noticed kids pouring out of buses.

“Just leave your bags on the bus, campers! If you head straight into the cafeteria you will find a nice hot breakfast waiting for you inside,” Delphine was standing on top of a table shouting to all the eager young kids. “Eat up! You are going to need all your strength for the day ahead.”

Siobhan bumped hips with Cosima.

“She’s a wise one. Listen to her.”

Cosima rolled her eyes in fake annoyance, but followed her aunt into the kitchen for a stack of pancakes, nevertheless.

 

* * *

 

That afternoon, Cosima found herself surrounded by the eight young campers in her and Delphine’s hiking group. The kids, all between the ages of 10 and 12, wore eager smiles on their faces, tattered clothing on their limbs.

“Alright my lovely campers. My name is Dolphin and I will be your naturalist over the next few weeks along with my friend,” Delphine looked over at Cosima, confusion held in her brows.

“What?” Cosima whispered.

“I don’t know your nature name!” Delphine replied in a harsh whisper.

“My what?”

“What the kids call you: An animal, or tree, or something. I’m Dolphin.”

“Uh…” Cosima looked around, trying to get hints from the world around her. Her eyes landed on Siobhan, who was animatedly leading a group through the creek nearby.

“Chicken,” she replied, a small smirk gracing her lips.

“My friend Chicken!” Delphine called out much to the children’s amusement. “Today is a very very special day. You all get to become a part of a super secret society here at Wyatt Hill. We call it the DBC. Anyone heard of it?”

Not a single one of the kids raised their hands with an answer. Delphine looked at Cosima questioningly.

“Dolphin’s beautiful children?” Cosima replied.

The blonde woman snorted at this. Cosima grinned, obviously proud of getting her to laugh.

“Good one, but no,” Delphine whispered to her co-worker.

“It’s the Dirty Bum Club!” she called out to the group. “All you have to do to join is take a seat in the dirt. So on the count of three. One… two… three.”

Simultaneously all of the kids plopped down onto the earth below, leaving just Cosima towering above them. Something seemed to trigger the dreadlocked woman’s lungs. With each strained breath, she was finding it harder and harder to keep her shit together.

Delphine frowned up at her partner.

“What’s up?”

The dreadlocked woman coughed subtly a few times, trying to clear the burning sensation in her throat. This had been happening more and more often. Everything would be fine. Cosima wouldn’t be exerting herself more than usual, she’d just be going through her day like normal and her lungs would suddenly decide to stop functioning.

“Just uh,” a loud cough shuttered through her. “Just trying to find the perfect spot of dirt to lay upon.”

She smiled cheekily, hoping to cover up her lung’s little freak-out. She slowly lowered herself onto the ground and leaned heavily against the tree behind her.

“Go ahead, boss,” she muttered to Delphine, raising her eyebrows toward the confused little ones around them.

Delphine tentatively began to explain the dynamic of predators and prey to the kids, but couldn’t stop glancing at the woman beside her.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I’m so sorry about the delay. I normally write this at work and recently it has been incredibly hectic and my weekends have been spent on set. Hopefully my schedule will calm down a bit soon! In the meantime, thank you for your patience. Thank you also for all the comments and kudos! You are all so incredibly sweet.

Cosima closed her eyes and focused solely on taking deep steadying breaths from the pit of her stomach.  Her lungs burned as they slowly expanded inside her ribcage. As a child, Cosima often had panic attacks and would seemingly forget how to breathe for a few minutes. Every time, without fail, her mother would pull Cosima close to her and tell the little girl to pretend like she was blowing up a balloon.  Lying in the dirt now, she tried to picture her mother’s arms around her once more.

After a minute or two, Cosima’s breathing returned to normal. The dull throbbing in her brain from the lack of oxygen slowly dissipated. She opened her eyes to return her attention to the group before her only to find that the kids were all wading in the river in front of them, leaving just Delphine, worry painted all over her face.

The blonde was staring at Cosima, biting her bottom lip. As soon as the brunette’s eyes locked with Delphine’s, the Frenchwoman’s shoulders fell just slightly.

“Are you alright?”

Cosima simply nodded. “What are the kiddos up to?”

“They are finding rocks to make war paint, just as some Native American tribes did,” Delphine replied, concern still evident on her face.

“Oh no way!” the brunette grinned. “My mom and I used to do that all the time. I always find the best colors.”

She slowly pushed herself off the ground and offered a hand to Delphine. The blonde eyed Cosima’s hand hesitantly.

The shorter woman rolled her eyes, “Come on, Delphine. I’m fine.”

“You didn’t look very fine a few minutes ago,” she retorted.

Cosima pouted.  “I really want to give you some badass war paint.”

Delphine stood up and smiled softly, “Only if I get to do you back.”

“Dolphin! Not in front of the children” Cosima replied in faux outrage.

The blonde woman shook her head at her partner . “Cheeky, Chicken.”

As the two got closer to the water, Cosima hastily began to collect rocks of varying shades.  She picked up a dark stone with an aqua hue and held it towards Delphine’s face.

She pursed her lips and closed her right eye. Every few moments she would let out a quiet hum.

“Quoi?” Delphine asked, concerned by Cosima’s silence.

“I’m trying to figure out if adding to a masterpiece would ruin it.”

Delphine found herself at a loss for words as Cosima watched her with such a sincere gaze.

Nearby, one of the kids dropped a large rock in the water. Water splashed the two naturalists and quickly interrupted their moment. Cosima rapidly scraped the aqua rock against a large flat stone and added a little water to the dust she had created.

“May I?” Cosima questioned a small smile on her lips.

Delphine squinted at her partner.  “You better not draw anything inappropriate.”

The dreadlocked woman gasped in mock offense. “I would never!”

“Get me ready for battle, Chicken.”

Cosima dabbed her pinkie into the paint concoction and hesitantly made little dots under Delphine’s eyes. The two were close enough for Cosima to feel the blonde’s breath against her cheek.

After she had finished Delphine’s eyes and drawn a line down her partner’s nose, Cosima stood back to assess her work.

“What do you think?” Delphine whispered.

Cosima locked eyes with the taller woman. “Perfect.”

“Miss Dolphin! Will you help me look for a red stone?” Charlotte, one of the girls in their hiking group questioned.

“I think Chicken, may be the best person for that job,” Delphine replied. She winked at the dreadlocked woman before her.

Cosima grinned. “It’s true; I’m definitely a _fantastic_ artist.”

She wadded into the shallow river and over towards Charlotte. Delphine leaned against a giant boulder and watched her partner and the little girl scour the river bed for the perfect stone, a content smile on her face.

Cosima glanced back at Delphine. She loved how the taller woman’s hair glistened in the hot afternoon sun. Cosima didn’t think it was possible for a human to look more angelic than Delphine did in that moment.

 

Suddenly, Cosima’s carefree expression morphed into one of terror.

Curled up right near Delphine’s hand was a large rattlesnake, its tail slowly shaking. 

“Delphine, get off the rock now,” the brunette urged, but her partner was too distracted by one of the campers who was whining after getting some dust in their eye. 

“Delphine!

Blonde hair whipped around the naturalist’s face as she turned to face her partner. 

“Get away from that rock,” Cosima insisted.

Delphine turned around to look at the boulder in mention and froze at the sight of the large coiled snake. 

Not a sound could be heard except for the soft rattling of the snake’s shaking tail. As Cosima stared at the scene before her, she quickly realized Delphine was in shock and would not move on her own accord. 

Just as Cosima saw the snake about to strike, she swiftly reached out towards the angry serpent, and grabbed it by the neck.  Now Cosima had seen her fair share of the The Crocodile Hunter growing up, but that in no way made her qualified to handle an angry snake.

The serpent lashed around in Cosima’s hands, attempting to bite her wrist. She tightened her hold and used her other hand to grab the snake’s tail. In a matter of moments she rapidly walked down the riverbed, far enough away from Delphine and the other students, and threw the reptile onto the shore.

As Cosima waded back up the stream towards the campers, she was acutely aware of the panicked expression still frozen on all the kids faces.

“Hey, you guys, it’s all good,” Cosima cooed. “That little guy was just trying to protect himself. He thought he was going to get hurt.”

This didn’t seem to dissuade the campers’ fear in the slightest.

“Who wants some cool new war paint? I found the coolest red rock that I’m positive would make an awesome Harry Potter scar,” Cosima attempted to entice kids.

“Oh! I want a scar!” one of the more rambunctious campers yelled.

Cosima grinned as the campers all eagerly lined up to get their foreheads painted.  She looked over at Delphine who was watching her from afar.

“Thank you,” the blonde mouthed.

The dreadlocked woman nodded once in acknowledgement before quickly getting to work on the kids’ foreheads.

* * *

 

When the hiking group showed up to the campfire that evening Charlotte insisted upon sitting beside Cosima. Most of the kids were still shaken up by that afternoon’s adventure. The dreadlocked woman agreed, but only after noticing Delphine had left the group to go talk with Cal, who was busy tuning his guitar. The eight kids crammed onto a bench right near the massive pit, the fire inside softly crackling.

“Good evening campers!” Cal called out to the exhausted kids. “I’m sure you are all wiped out from all that hiking today, so we will make our fire brief tonight. If you look over towards my lovely assistant, Dolphin, you will see all the makings for a perfect s’mores sandwich. I know most of you are old pros when it comes to putting these suckers together, but in case you need it, any of our naturalists here would love to help you out.”

Excitement pulsed in the air around them as kids eagerly rushed towards the dessert station. Once more Cosima found herself staring at her trail partner who was assisting the enthusiastic kids with skewering their marshmallows. Cosima had never before found herself so easily distracted by another human being.

As the campers all busied themselves with the roasting, Delphine wandered over towards the bench where Cosima was now sitting alone. She hesitantly sat down beside the dreadlocked woman.

The two stared at the fire in silence for a while, kids’ laughter echoing in the background.  

“I just, I wanted to thank you for stepping in out there,” Delphine whispered.

“It was nothing,” the brunette replied softly. She didn’t let her eyes wander from the luminous bonfire in front of them. She knew the moment she looked over at the woman beside her, she wouldn’t be able to focus on the words escaping Delphine’s mouth.

Delphine placed her hand atop Cosima’s. “You could’ve died.”  

Cosima shrugged. “It only seemed fair.”

Delphine frowned.

The dreadlocked woman glanced over at Delphine. “You saved my life once. I was just trying to even out the balance.”

The taller woman chuckled and laced her fingers with Cosima’s.

“Well even though it was the fair thing to do, thank you,” Delphine replied earnestly.

Cosima nodded.  The world seemed to fade around them as Cosima locked eyes with Delphine. The longer the brunette stared at the blonde woman beside her, the more Cosima wanted to just lean over and kiss her, but she knew this was neither the time, nor the place.

“S’more?” Delphine questioned with a tilt of her head.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

The duo stood up and walked over towards the table full of treats, their hands threaded together the entire time. 

 

* * *

 


	6. Chapter 6

At breakfast the next morning, Cosima sat hunched over her steaming cup of coffee. With her eyes screwed shut, she slowly inhaled the brew’s sweet aroma. Most days Cosima had no problem waking up. She loved sleeping and the comfort of a warm bed, but not as much as she loved all the possibilities trapped in each day. This morning was another story, though.

Normally, when Cosima went to bed she drifted off to sleep the moment her head hit the pillow. Last night, though, she couldn’t get her mind to shut off. She kept feeling Delphine’s hand in hers and the way her thumb slowly caressed the back of Cosima’s hand.

She wondered what it would feel like to have those hands raked down her back, or pinning down her arms. Cosima felt her cheeks flush at this thought.

“Morning Cos. Wishing you were eating a muffin instead of those lousy eggs?”

Sarah grinned cheekily down at the blushing naturalist in front of her.

“Oi, Sarah, let the girl have her fantasies. We all know there isn’t much action around here this summer,” Felix chirped back.

A smug grin spread across Sarah’s face. “Speak for yourself, Fe.”

“No! You dirty dog, you,” he squealed.

“You and Cal?” Cosima questioned in shock. “Already?”

“What do you mean already?” Sarah frowned. “It’s been like a week.  Just because you have zero game with blondie over there doesn’t mean the rest of us are incompetent in the bedroom.”

Normally, Cosima would’ve had a witty retort to Sarah’s implication, but she quickly lost any interest in what the Brit was saying at the mention of Delphine.

Sure enough, the blonde woman was over by the oatmeal station, putting some cinnamon atop her bowl of mush.  As Delphine turned to find a place to sit at, her eyes locked with Cosima’s. Of course, the eager brunette grinned at her partner. Delphine smiled back but it didn’t seem to reach her eyes.

Before Cosima could invite Delphine to come sit with them, Cal caught the blonde’s attention and beckoned her over to sit with him. Cosima visibly deflated.

“Looks like your boyfriend stole the puppy’s chew toy,” Felix quipped.

“Just because we’re shaggin’ does not mean he is my boyfriend,” the Brit retorted.

Cosima looked over at Sarah, shocked. “Watch it, there are children around here!”

Sarah grinned as she took a bite out of her toast, “Like they know what shagging means.”

* * *

When the hiking group finally made it out into the forest that day, Cosima was itching to talk to her partner. Throughout the entire trek through the trees, though, Delphine was patiently listening to Thomas, one of the more eager campers, as he rambled on about all the different species of poisonous plants.

Cosima had to hand it to Delphine. She wasn’t sure she would ever have the same amount of patience as the blonde had.

Once the group had made it to a small clearing in the woods Delphine nudged Cosima in the ribs.

“Your students are ready,” the blonde whispered.

“Oh, you want me to-”

Delphine just raised her eyebrows in response.

“Um, alright then,” Cosima cleared her throat. “Good morning, my wonderful explorers! Today we are going to learn a little bit about habitats. Who here knows what a habitat is?”

The kids’ hands shot into the air. 

“Go for it Andrea,” the dreadlocked naturalist called out.

“It’s an animal’s home!” the little girl squealed.

Cosima gave Andrea an enthusiastic high five. “Right on! They are exactly what Andy just said. Today, you are going to have a chance to make your own habitat out here.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Cosima was watching her partner who was standing a bit away from the group. Delphine looked in awe of Cosima’s enthusiasm.

“You will get the next thirty minutes to make a home for yourself out of the things you can find in your surroundings.” The kids eagerly began to look for pieces for their homes.

“Wait, wait wait!” Cosima called out, chuckling at the kids’ enthusiasm. “Before you get started, there is one very important rule. Be sure to not destroy any real habitats while we are out here. You wouldn’t like it if someone came and ruined your home, so don’t ruin any of the animals’ out here.”

With that the kids scurried off into the trees around them, leaving Cosima and Delphine alone for the first time that morning.

Cosima sauntered over towards where Delphine was leaning up against a tree.

“So how’d I do?” the shorter woman questioned.

Delphine smiled at her. “Tres bien. You did a good job getting those kids excited.”

Cosima smiled at the praise. She leaned against the tree near Delphine.

“I had a good teacher,” Cosima replied. The two seemed to be off in their own little world.

Just as Cosima had threaded her fingers through Delphine’s, the blond quickly pulled her hand away and walked over towards where one of the children had buried themselves in dirt.

“Martin, I do not think your fathers would be very happy if they found all your new centipede friends in your pockets the next time they do the laundry,” Delphine warned the little boy.

She helped brush off the dirt from his clothes as Cosima sulked against the tree.

* * *

After a dinner of sloppy Joes and tater tots, Cosima found herself trapped in the kitchen on dish duty with Delphine.  She knew something was up with her partner after all of her lackluster responses earlier that day, but she chalked it up to a bad day.

The two were silent as they did the dishes… silent, but methodical. They had a system down. While Cosima was elbow deep into a bath of warm soapy water, Delphine was just a few feet to her right on drying duty.

“So I was thinking,” Cosima broke the silence. “Felix mentioned there was a bar down the road.”

Delphine didn’t look up from the dish she is drying. “Yeah, Bobby’s.”

“Right! I noticed we both have Friday night off from campfire duty, and I was thinking we could maybe go get a beer?”

Cosima peered over at her partner to gauge her reaction. Delphine was still rubbing an obviously dry plate.

“Or a glass of wine, if that’s more your style?”

Delphine placed the plate she had been working on atop the stack of clean plates.

“I do not think that would be a wise decision.”

The dreadlocked woman frowned.  “Oh. Okay… Is it the bar or just going out with me in general?”

All Cosima could focus on was the way Delphine’s bottom lip puckered as she bit it. She knew she was putting the blonde in a precarious situation.

“Well, I am not a fan of mixing my work life and personal life,” Delphine replied after the silence had become too much.

“Your work life _is_ your personal life, Delphine.”

“Cosima...” Delphine didn’t seem to be able to add anything to console the obviously upset woman in front of her.

Cosima despised the tears already welling in her eyes. She hated how easily a few salinated drops could give away her emotions.

“You still don’t trust me, do you? And for what? Because I’m not obsessed with this place like the rest of you?” Cosima bit back. “At least I’m not stuck here, too scared to live in the real world like you are.”

Cosima waited for Delphine to deny her claims, waited for screaming, for the expected upset, but it never came.

Instead, Delphine was eerily quiet. She smiled sadly at Cosima, turned on her heels and slowly walked out the kitchen door.

When she was sure Delphine was far enough away, Cosima let out a muffled sob as she vigorously scrubbed the last pot in the sink.

She didn’t have it in her to go to the campfire, that night. Instead, she put in her headphones and cranked up the volume in an attempt to drown out the jovial tunes from Cal’s guitar. She knew far too well that some happy songs and a forced smile couldn’t heal a broken heart.  


	7. Chapter 7

Before her freshman year at college, Cosima was asked to fill out a survey to assist the housing staff in finding her a perfect roommate. It was on this survey that Cosima was asked the most difficult of questions. The survey wanted to know if she was more of a morning or night person. She honestly did not know how to answer the question.

Ever since her mother died, Cosima found that the stillness of an early morning spent in bed, or the aching quiet of a night left alone with just her thoughts were too jarring. As such, she woke up each morning with the sun and went to bed long after it set. She didn’t allow much time for silence.

This morning was a little different, though.

Unlike every other morning, there was no song running through her mind, no thought she had to share with her roommates. All Cosima could think about as she brushed her pristine canines was the sad smile Delphine wore before leaving the brunette to wallow in her rejection.

“Cos, what’s wrong?” Sarah croaked, sleepily.

The frowning Brit exited the small room housing the cabin’s toilet.

Cosima spit out some toothpaste.

“What do you mean? Nothing’s wrong,” she replied.

“Something’s up,” Sarah continued. “You aren’t doing that weird thing where you hum while brushing your teeth.”

Cosima frowned. “That’s not weird?”

“It’s a little weird, love.” Felix wrapped his arms around her torso. “Come on, what’s eating at you?”

Cosima continued to brush her teeth, attempting to ignore her nosey roommates.

“Our favorite French poodle was oddly quiet at the campfire last night,” Sarah chimed in knowingly.

“Oh no! Did you two have a spat? Already?” Felix questioned.

Cosima rolled her eyes, “We did not have a _spat._ Things are…fine.”

“You are quite possibly the worst liar I have ever met,” the lanky boy replied. “Come on, spit so that we can go grab some coffee.”

She obliged and spit out the toothpaste only to be dragged out of the cabin and into the cafeteria crowded with campers who were far too energetic for this early hour.

“Well screw blondie then,” Sarah said as she loaded her plate up with bacon. “Come with me to Bobby’s tonight. We can get plastered. Plus, I just so happen to know that the new bartender plays for your team and happens to be just your type.”

Cosima scooped out a bowl of watery oatmeal and flooded it with brown sugar.

“I don’t think I’m up for it, Sarah,” she replied apprehensively.

Felix stuffed a strawberry into Cosima’s open mouth. “Really, darling, you must learn when you have lost the battle.”

“Besides,” Sarah added, “I’ve always said the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.”

 

The rest of her day with Delphine was relatively normal, considering the circumstances. It seemed to speed by, but that was probably due to how busy Cosima kept herself chatting with their campers.

Today’s activity was a simple creek study. All the kids had to do was search the creek that ran through the center of Wyatt Hill’s property for an assortment of larvae and underwater creatures. Normally, Cosima would’ve taken this as an opportunity to try to talk with Delphine instead of focus on the task at hand. Since she couldn’t stand to look at the blonde, though, Cosima actually rolled up her sleeves and searched right alongside the campers.

She was so focusd on the task at hand, she didn’t even notice Delphine’s worried glances sent in her direction throughout the day.

 

That night, Cosima found herself in a tight skirt and restraining push-up bra, sitting beside Sarah at the local watering hole. The place was small, but oddly reminiscent of Cosima’s parents’ basement. It made her nostalgic for all those high school parties where she got drunk off of wine coolers and PBR.

Sarah sipped at her glass of whiskey. “You are taking this awfully hard, Cos. I mean it’s just one girl. “

“It isn’t just one girl. It’s a _lifetime_ full of falling for straight girls,” Cosima sighed.  “It always goes the same way. We become friends, they get a little too handsy, I fall a little too hard.  It’s the same pathetic story.”

She downed the rest of her margarita. “They all want attention, but deny any attempt at affection.”

Sarah patted Cosima on the back good-naturedly. “Come on, it’ll be alright.”

“She’s just so perfect. I mean have you seen Delphine’s fingers? They are so damn _long_ ,” Cosima sighed. “She is so wasted on straight boys.”

The brunette stared at her empty glass, sadly.

“Can I have another margarita?” Cosima called out drunkenly. She nearly fell out of her seat when a blonde pixie of a girl popped out from the kitchen window instead of the sour old Pete who had served her earlier.

The new bartender eyed Cosima warily.

“Are you sure you want more sugar? The hangover will be killer,” the blonde warned.

Cosima shrugged at the suggestion.

“I wouldn’t want whoever you wake up with tomorrow to have to deal with that,” she added with a wink.

“Damn,” Sarah muttered to Cosima.

Cosima stared at the woman quizzically, and smiled tentatively. “Make it a shot of tequila.”

The new bartender grinned then quickly disappeared from the window to the kitchen. It didn’t take long for Cosima to miss her presence. After a few minutes, the blonde quickly returned with two generous shots of tequila.

“Two?” Cosima questioned.

The bartender placed a shot in front of Cosima and held one up to her own lips. Cosima raised a brow at the woman’s actions.

“Wouldn’t want you drinking alone, would we?”

Cosima glanced over at the chair beside her that Sarah had occupied. Sure enough, the boisterous Brit had abandoned her for a friendly game of darts with some fraternity brothers.  Cosima turned back to her new companion.

“Alright, but only if you tell me your name.”

The bartender extended her hand. Cosima couldn’t help but notice that they weren’t as flawless as Delphine’s.

“Shay,” the blonde replied.

Cosima took her hand.

“Cosima.”

Shay clinked her shot glass with Cosima’s.

“Ready, Cosima?” Shay asked with a slight huskiness to her voice.

The brunette nodded, and the two quickly downed their shots.

Cosima giggled at the sour expression on Shay’s face.

“Not one for shots?”

Shay shook her head, something between a wince and a smile plastered on her face, “I’m more of a beer kind of girl.”

In the distance, the front door jingled, indicating the arrival of a new patron. The sound caught both girls’ attention.

“Someone will be right with you,” Shay called out to the new customer.

All of a sudden, Cosima’s senses were overwhelmed with the scent of lavender. She glanced back at the doorway and was sure her mouth visibly dropped.

 “Noooo,” Cosima groaned, lowering her head to the counter.

Shay frowned and followed Cosima’s gaze to the front entrance. “Not excited to see Blondie over there?”

“I came here to forget about her, so not really.”

Cosima attempted to take some slow soothing breathes, but the room was spinning just a bit too much for her to focus on them.

Shay’s lips pulled up into a sultry smirk, “I can get you another shot… _or_  I can help you forget about her.”

Cosima slowly raised her head from the countertop and smiled crookedly at the bartender. “What did you have in mind?”

As if on cue, a slow melancholy song trickled out from the speakers tucked into the bar’s corners. Shay’s face lit up in recognition of the tune.  She pulled off the apron from around her waist, walked out from behind the tiny bar, and extended her arm out to Cosima.

“Dance with me?” Shay suggested.

Cosima grinned at the petite woman before her and linked their arms together. As the two walked out to the dance floor, Cosima tried her hardest not to look at Delphine, who was currently sitting by herself in the corner.

It didn’t take long for Shay to pull Cosima impossibly close to her lithe frame. For a few moments the two just slowly swayed together. That is, until Shay pressed her lips flush against Cosima’s.

Shay’s lips were soft and experienced. A tentative tongue brushed against Cosima’s lower lip and soon the two were engaged in a heated kiss, both battling for dominance. Cosima didn’t realize how desperate she was for some physical contact.

In fact, Cosima was so caught up in kissing Shay that she didn’t realize she had been forcibly removed from the blonde until she was already out in the brisk night air.

“What the actual fuck?!” Cosima screamed.

She whipped herself around and found that the arms that had just yanked her from Bobby’s belonged to the blonde she had been pining over for the past few days.

“Get in the car, Cosima,” Delphine stated lowly. It was clear from the naturalist’s voice that there was no room for negotiation.

Still fuming, Cosima stumbled into the open vehicle.

As the door to Delphine’s compact Prius slammed shut behind her, Cosima could still hear Sarah laughing from inside the bar.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Cosima spat.

Delphine quickly reversed the car and pulled out onto the long winding road back to camp. “Making sure your aunt doesn’t have a mess to clean up and you don’t have any regrets. Put on your seatbelt.”

The dreadlocked woman stared at her partner incredulously. “Listen, I’ve got a lot of regrets, but sleeping with a hot girl who is that eager to have me, would not be one of them.”

The blonde, who looked just as irritated as her passenger, glared at Cosima. “Will you please just put on your seatbelt?”

Cosima huffed, “Are you jealous?”

“No. No, of course not,” Delphine replied.  She seemed to be trying to convince herself more than Cosima. “I just didn’t want you to make a rash decision… I know Shay. She tends to, latch on?”

“You have no right to do this. To tell me we’re just coworkers and then fuck with my life like this,” the brunette fumed.

“I KNOW!” Delphine yelled out in frustration.

The car got eerily quiet. Cosima stared at her partner, shocked by her outburst.

“I’m sorry,” the blonde murmured.

Cosima shook her head, “What the hell is wrong with you?”

At this Delphine pulled her Prius off to the side of the desolate road. She ran her fingers through her disheveled blonde hair.

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “This… this isn’t like me.”

Delphine didn’t dare look over at Cosima.  

“I overheard Sarah talking to you at breakfast,” the taller woman whispered. “I couldn’t stop thinking about what she said. I don’t know, I just…. I just couldn’t stop picturing-”

She stopped and cleared her throat.  Cosima was transfixed by the crease between Delphine’s brows. Her partner had obviously shown too much of her hand.

“I’m sorry, Cosima.”

The anger quickly dissipated from Cosima’s tense shoulders.

“We should probably get home,” the brunette whispered.

Delphine nodded and with a brief glance over her shoulder, was back out onto the open road.

The remaining five minutes of the drive back to camp were silent.

Instead of parking out front of her own cabin, Delphine pulled right up in front of Cosima’s to drop off her partner.

The brunette unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the passenger door, but before she could leave, Delphine grabbed her wrist.

“I just… I really am sorry.”

“I know,” Cosima replied, still not ready to forgive her partner just yet. She climbed out of the vehicle, still a little unsteady on her feet. “Next time, just come with me to the damn bar.”

A small sad smile appeared on Delphine’s face.

“Okay,” she muttered softly.

“Goodnight, Dolphin,” Cosima whispered.

“Bonne nuit, Chicken.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long delay! If you want to read something sad and cannon, feel free to check out my one-shot "What Sarah Said". ALSO, I would love to chat with all of you on tumblr! You can find me at offftoneverlandd.... Don't judge me for my name ;)


	8. Chapter 8

The following morning Cosima woke up with a dry mouth and a throbbing headache. As she lay in bed she thanked every god she could think of that the campers went home on the weekends. She could do whatever she wanted today, with whomever she wanted.

With that in mind, Cosima pulled on some tennis shoes, quickly washed her face, brushed her teeth, and then sent off on into the woods, alone.

She wound through the thick forest full of oaks and wild ferns, up to the top of one of the many hills surrounding camp. It was there she found an ancient oak tree with twisted limbs reaching up towards the sky. At the base of the tree, there was a simple heart carved in.

Cosima ran her index finger along the old carving. A fresh gust of wind swelled around her. She clutched her jacket closer to her frame, and leaned up against the giant oak behind her.

Lately, she had felt a deep and desperate longing for her mother. Anne would certainly know what to do right now, how to handle the swell of emotions weighing heavily in Cosima’s gut.

Cosima was far too confused by the recent turn of events. On the one hand, it seemed perfectly clear to her that Delphine wanted to be nothing more than her co-worker this summer. While on the other, it seemed awfully like Delphine wanted to just break her own rules of decorum and actually give whatever it was that had been boiling between them a try.

Cosima had already taken a leap in regards to the second scenario, though. She wasn’t quite sure if she was ready to put herself out there again. After all, how much rejection can one heart take?

As she breathed in the scent of fresh greenery, Cosima heard a branch cracking somewhere nearby. She quickly whipped around towards the strange noise.

“Whoa there, Chicken,” Siobhan called out to her. “Didn’t mean to startle ya.”

Cosima took a deep calming breath, trying to regulate her quickly beating heart. “What are you doing up here, S?”

The older woman shrugged, “I figured you’d come here.”

Cosima frowned.

“Delphine came to me this morning. She was a bit… upset about what she’d done,” Siobhan explained.

“Why?”

Siobhan lowered herself to the ground and took a seat beside Cosima.

“She figured she spooked you last night,” the Irish woman chuckled. “Granted, if I had been in your shoes, I probably would’ve been a bit spooked myself.”

Cosima rested her head upon Siobhan’s shoulder.

“It was a little strange,” the dreadlocked woman replied.

“Can I let you in on a little secret?” Siobhan asked.

“I would love that,” Cosima replied.

“All the best one’s are.”

Cosima grinned up at her aunt.

“She’s different than us, love. She didn’t grow up like you did, knowing you were loved, knowing you were accepted no matter what. She didn’t have much of a family, so now that she’s found one here, I’m not sure she’s quite ready to risk it all.”

Cosima sighed and cuddled in closer.

“Do you remember when you were little, and your mum would catch you every time you jumped off the dock into the lake?” Siobhan questioned.

The dreadlocked woman just nodded, knowing she was meant to just listen.

“You have always had that implicit trust of those you love,” the older woman thread her fingers through Cosima’s. “Delphine has been taught time and time again that those you love will just disappoint you, use you, let you down. She doesn’t quite know how to just love and not expect any backlash.”

Siobhan kissed the top of Cosima’s head.

“Her turning you down the other night was nothing more than an act of self-protection, my dear. I think the idea of letting someone else in, or letting someone love her, is just a bit terrifying for her. Quite honestly, Chicken, I think you caught her by surprise.”

Cosima looked up at her aunt, the hint of a smile on her face, “Really?”

“Really. I’ll tell you another secret, though. She is most definitely worth all the patience you can muster up.”

Once more the wind swirled upon around them. The sudden dry air caused Cosima’s lungs to seize up, resulting in a rough coughing fit. Siobhan rubbed a comforting hand across the younger woman’s back.

“You alright?”

After a few steadying breaths, Cosima nodded.

“I should get back to camp.” Siobhan stood up. “Cosima?”

“Hm?”

“Will you promise me you will go get that cough of yours checked out again?”

The dreadlocked woman smiled sadly, “Okay.”

After a tight smile in return, the Irish woman took off down the hill and back towards camp, leaving Cosima, once more in complete solitude.

 

It wasn’t until the sun was setting that Cosima made her way back to camp.

On her way back to her cabin, she heard a deep voice calling out to her. She turned to find Cal running towards her.

“Hey! We’ve been looking for you all day,” the scruffy man called out, a grin on his face.

“Oh I’ve been out in the woods,” Cosima replied nonchalantly.

“Right on, right on, well I just wanted to invite you to our staff movie night. It’s something we all try to do on Saturday nights. Over the week the cabin leaders collect a shit ton of contraband candy in the campers’ cabins, so we get to pig out on it.”

Cosima looked contemplative. “Well that all depends on what film you’re planning on watching.”

Cal sidled up beside her and whispered as if he had a secret, “You can’t tell anyone because I haven’t revealed it to the rest of the naturalists yet, but,” he looked around dramatically, “we will be screening the _classic_ Raiders of the Lost Ark.”

Cosima’s face instantly lit up. “Dude, I so can’t turn down Indy. Show me the way.”

The two walk in relative silence towards the staff breakroom.

Just before the two made it to the small cabin located right in between all of the naturalist cabins, Cal put his hand on Cosima’s shoulder, indicating that the two should stop.

“Listen, Cosima, before we go in there, I just wanted to let you know that I know what Delphine did last night,” he stated quietly. “I think we can both agree it’s pretty shitty, but I promise you, the girl has been beating herself up about it all day.”

“Oh yeah?” Cosima replied, shocked by the revelation.

“Yeah,” Cal replied exhaustedly. “I know you have no reason to, but just give her another shot. You won’t regret it.”

The shorter woman smiled up at her co-worker. “You’re a good friend, Cal.”

He rubbed the back of his neck, obviously uncomfortable with the compliment. Instead of responding to his co-worker, Cal just opened the door and ushered Cosima in. Before he walked off to find Sarah, he turned to Cosima and whispered, “Feel free to grab whatever food you want. Can’t leave any behind or the raccoons will get it, ya know?”

After filling up a plate from all the junk food in the back, Cosima looked out across the room packed with naturalists and cabin leaders for a place to sit. There was one seat still open beside Sarah and Felix but Sarah just kept pointing over at the one other empty seat beside Cosima’s statuesque partner.

It only took 30 seconds for Cosima to wander over to Delphine and sit beside her. She was attempting to be completely nonchalant about the whole situation, but actually appeared to be rather nervous.

 “Are you not hungry?” Cosima questioned the blonde, who was sitting a little stiffly beside her.

“Oh, um, this is not the kind of food I eat,” Delphine replied awkwardly.

“What, the delicious kind?”

Delphine cracked a smile, “No, cheeky, I don’t eat food if it is a color you cannot find in nature.”

Cosima groaned and rolled her eyes dramatically. “Oh no! You’re one of them!”

The blonde laughed at her partners antics. “Guilty.”

A mischievous look flashed across Cosima’s face. She stood up rather ungracefully, and darted to the table filled with confiscated snacks. She grabbed a couple different items of junk food and stuffed them in her sweatshirt pocket, and then grabbed a pack of Starbursts.

Upon returning to her seat, Cosima quickly opened up one of the light pink Starbursts.

“You can certainly find this color in nature,” Cosima argued vehemently. “It’s strawberry.”

Delphine grabbed the light pink candy. “Perhaps, but strawberries cannot be found of this color.”

“Will you just eat the damn candy?” Cosima huffed.

The blonde couldn’t help but smile at Cosima’s frustration. Her partner looked awfully adorable with a crinkled brow and pout. Delphine raised the Starburst to her mouth and popped the entire candy in.

Cosima watched the blonde’s stoic face in anticipation.

“Well?”

Delphine shrugged, “I’m more of a truffle girl, but these are alright.”

“Psh, alright!” Cosima replied incredulously. “These are delicious.”

The blonde reached over and pulled Cosima’s pockets open to see what she had inside.

“Looking for something?” the dreadlocked woman chuckled.  
Delphine pulled out a small container of Pringles. She opened the box and put one in her mouth.

With her mouth full she replied, “Nope!”

As Cal popped in Raiders of the Lost Ark to a chorus of groans, Cosima found all her worries from that morning just slipping away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you as impressed by this speed as I am?? This is a thank you for all the sweet reviews and follows on tumblr! I tried to follow all of you back so please don't be afraid to say hello! Thank you thank you thank you for all your kind words. They certainly make my day!


	9. Chapter 9

Thus far, the worst part about being at camp, for Cosima, was not having a car. Granted, this was probably more a side effect of her DUI than of her being at camp, but it sucked nonetheless.

Camp had all of her food and random containers of laundry detergent to last her the summer, but anything else that came up required a trip into town. This meant that whenever Cosima needed tampons or deodorant, or a piping hot mocha, she had to beg Felix or Sarah to drive her the ten miles.

Most Sundays, her two British co-workers didn’t have much of a problem giving her a ride, but last night Felix had gone to Bobby’s and didn’t make it home by sunrise, and Sarah was shacked up in Cal’s cabin. Normally, she would’ve gone to Siobhan if Felix or Sarah weren’t available, but her aunt was busy preparing for the upcoming beach trip with the campers.

This is why, when Cosima had to go to the local town doctor on Sunday morning, she caught a ride with her mystifying partner, Delphine.

Cosima nervously jiggled her leg to the Mumford and Sons song spilling out of the Prius’ speakers. Eying her partner’s obvious anxiety, Delphine rested her palm gently on Cosima’s thigh.

“Are you alright?” the Frenchwoman asked quietly.

A large yawn took over the brunette’s body.

“Yeah, I just can’t seem to stop yawning,” Cosima replied.

A small smile graced Delphine’s lips. “My brother used to do the same thing when he was nervous.”

Cosima nodded, but didn’t want to talk about her apprehension anymore.

“Thank you for driving me,” the brunette muttered.

Delphine shrugged, “It’s really not a problem. Mass starts at 10 so I’m only leaving ten minutes earlier than I usually do.”

“You go to church?” Cosima asked, shock evident in her voice.

The blonde chuckled as she turned down the long main street of the local town.

“I do. I’m assuming by your reaction that you don’t.”

“I’ve never really been one for believing in some big old white dude chilling in the sky and choosing who gets to live and die,” the brunette replied.

The car slowed to a stop at the lone traffic light in town. A little old lady shuffled across the road. A large grin broke out on the elderly woman’s face at the sight of Delphine. The blonde smiled and waved at the woman before continuing down the road.

“I can’t say I am a fan of religion myself, but my church was the one place I felt safe as a child. I often go just to feel that sanctuary again.”

Cosima nodded as she absorbed Delphine’s words.

“Was she a friend of yours? That woman at the crosswalk, I mean.”

Delphine pulled up outside of the doctor’s office.

“Yes, Alice is a friend of mine. She always saves me a seat at mass,” the blonde smiled. “She claims she is a little bit of a psychic.”

The two grinned at each other.

“She sounds fun.”

Cosima stared out at the small doctor’s office beside them. It was now or never.

“Thank you, again,” Cosima whispered.

Moving her palm from Cosima’s thigh, Delphine gripped her partner’s hand briefly.

“I will be back in an hour.”

With a brief nod, Cosima climbed out of the front seat and made the quick walk up to the front door.

 

Cosima was expecting the office to be quiet, after all the doctor was only seeing her on a Sunday because he was an old friend of Siobhan’s and got free vegetables from the camp’s garden every week. When she stepped into the waiting room, however, she was shocked to find the place eerily empty. This did nothing to help her nerves, of course.

“Hello?” she called out timidly.

A loud thump echoed out from the back room. Moments later, a large burly man with wild white hair and a large genuine smile waddled into the waiting room wearing a wrinkled lab coat.

“Oh sorry about the noise, dear! I’m afraid you startled me,” the doctor said jovially. “You must be Cosima. Siobhan has told me so much about you and your studies!”

He extended a hand, which Cosima took without hesitation, already warmed by his sunny disposition.

“I’m Dr. Haverford, but you can just call me Charlie. If you just follow me to the back we will get you in and out faster than you can say sassafras.”

Before Cosima could reply, Charlie had already begun walking down the long hallway so she had to add a little skip to her step to keep up.

“Thank you so much for seeing me last minute like this,” Cosima called out as she followed him through the deceivingly complex hallway.

“Oh, not a problem, dear. Not a problem at all.” 

He swung open a heavy wooden door that led to a massive x-ray machine.

“Now, I have already been sent your x-rays from Los Angeles. The next step in monitoring your lungs is to keep taking these silly old x-rays of those nodules,” Charlie continued. “If you could just remove that lovely sweater of yours and stand up against the x-ray machine on that wall over there, we can see how they look in comparison to your old test.”

As Cosima slowly stripped off her warm old sweater, goosebumps sprung up all over her torso. She hesitantly walked over to the large contraption.

“You want me to like, just press up against it?” she questioned nervously.

“Precisely,” Dr. Haverford replied. “I’m afraid it will be a bit nippy, but I will try to get the scans over with quickly.”

Sure enough, when Cosima pressed against it, she let out an audible gasp. She wondered if her now rock hard nipples would show up on the scan. At least they looked better when cold.

“Just like that, dear. Thank you very much.”

She stayed up against the machine for a few more minutes until Charlie called out “And that is a wrap!”

Cosima quickly pulled her sweater on back over her head, and began to rub her arms, attempting to get rid of the goosebumps.

 

Just a few minutes later, she found herself nursing a hot cup of tea, sitting across from Charlie’s desk. His office was full of photos of smiling children and poorly done drawings that could only been done by toddlers.

The older man entered carrying a few large x-rays. He pinned the photographs up on the wall and sat down across from Cosima.

“Well, I’m very happy to say I have some good news,” Dr. Haverford began. “Your nodules have not grown any since your last x-ray.”  


A knot that had been weighing heavily in Cosima’s chest seemed to instantly loosen.

“Now, this doesn’t mean you are completely out of the woods. I understand your mother had some malignant nodules, but we can assume hers came from a lifetime of smoking.  At this point, I am not quite sure what caused your nodules, so we will have to continue monitoring them for the next year or so.”

Cosima cleared her throat, “Does that mean that I… that it’s not fatal?”

He reached across the desk, and placed a hand atop hers.

“Now, I can’t promise anything, but things are looking up for you, my dear.”

She couldn’t help but smile at him. This certainly wasn’t what she had been expecting to hear.

“I will tell you what, though,” Dr. Haverford continued. “I will arrange for you to get a PET scan in San Francisco next weekend, just so you can get some more information. Think you can make it there?”

Cosima nodded, “I mean any excuse to go to the city, right?”

He chuckled, “I like your style, Ms. Niehaus.”

 

When Cosima finally made it out to the parking lot, Delphine’s little red Prius was already waiting for her.

She nearly skipped to the car, she was so relieved, but instead held it together and walked over with just a slight hop to her step.

“You look happy,” Delphine noted as Cosima climbed into the passenger seat.

“Yeah, he’s a really good doctor,” Cosima replied.

“You’re that happy just because he was a good doctor?” the blonde questioned.

Her partner shrugged, “He gave me hope.”

Delphine grinned over at Cosima. “I think that’s cause for a lovely celebration, no? How about some brunch on me?”

“Really?” Cosima asked incredulously.

Leaning over, the blonde’s face took on a very serious expression. “I never joke about brunch.”

 

The small café Delphine took her to was warm and inviting. It smelled of fresh baked bread and apple pie.

“Bonjour Delphine!” the squat woman perched behind the back counter called out to the blonde as the duo entered.  “Comme d'hab?”

Delphine nodded her head enthusiastically before turning to Cosima, “Are fruit, pastries, and eggs okay?”

Cosima grinned up at her, “Sounds delicious.”

“Go grab a table, I will make sure Madeline knows to make enough for two.”

As Cosima made her way over to a table near the front window, she watched Delphine talk animatedly with the owner.  She couldn’t help but admire the warmth in Delphine’s eyes, the soft cadence of her voice. 

Cosima got so caught up in thinking about the blonde partner of hers, that she didn’t even realize when Delphine had made it back to her.

“Where did you go?” Delphine pondered once Cosima had finally locked eyes with her.

The dreadlocked woman shrugged, “I just kind of feel like I’m getting a second chance.”

Cosima laced her fingers with Delphine’s across the table.

“Maybe a new beginning,” she added.

Delphine smiled down at their joined hands. “I’m really sorry about the other night, Cosima.”

“I know,” Cosima replied without needing more of an explanation.

Just then, Madeline waltzed over and dropped off two beautifully decorated plates full of croissants, fresh strawberries, and fluffy scrambled eggs. The older woman grinned knowingly at Delphine.

“Est-ce que c'est ta petite amie?” Madeline asked.

A blush instantly spread across Delphine’s face at the question.

“Thank you for breakfast, Madeline,” the younger Frenchwoman responded, completely ignoring the question.

Madeline chuckled and shook her head at Delphine before leaving the two younger women alone.

Picking up the steaming croissant, Delphine slathered it in butter and held it out for Cosima to try. The brunette took a generous bite and instantly moaned at the delicious flavor.

“God that’s orgasmic,” Cosima groaned.

Giggling at her partner’s reaction, Delphine leaned over and wiped off the few stray crumbs that had stuck to Cosima’s chin.

Cosima grinned at her. “Hey Delphine?”

“Hm?” the blonde replied.

“Would you at all be interested in going to San Francisco with me next weekend?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I totally wasn't going to post this soon, but I figured thetravelingkid deserved a birthday present.... SO Happy Birthday, dear. ALSO, thank you to each and every one of you who comments, or kudos, or subscribes. I really appreciate each and every one of you. 
> 
> I will not be posting another chapter until after the weekend is over, but will try my hardest to get a few more out next week. Have a safe weekend!


	10. Chapter 10

The following week went by quickly for Cosima. Now that things were finally going smoothly with Delphine, she wished that time would just slow down a bit. After all, there were only four more weeks of camp. This meant only four more weeks to figure out what the hell was going on between her and the gorgeous blonde she was currently sitting beside on a ferry to San Francisco.

When Dr. Haverford first told Cosima she would have to go to the city for her PET scan, she considered going alone. After all, it was only a forty minute ferry ride from camp and the test would only take a few hours. What was the point in making it a bigger deal than it already was?

As she sat across from Delphine at that cramped breakfast table, though, she couldn’t help but picture exploring the city with the blonde. Delphine would look lovely with the wind in her hair; the hills freckled with old Victorian houses in the background.

After Delphine agreed to the trip, however, Cosima couldn’t help but worry. She didn’t particularly want the blonde to see her at the clinic.  There was no doubt that she would be hungry from the required fast before the exam, and that often meant Cosima would be cranky. To top that off, she didn’t cope well with doctors and tests and didn’t want to seem too weak in front of her partner.

For now, Cosima was trying her hardest to ignore her nerves and the ever-closer deadline to her time at Wyatt Hill. After all, she had spent far too much time focusing on everything but the present, but right now, with Delphine’s hand resting lazily in hers and the ocean’s gentle waves pulsing against the base of the ferry, she couldn’t think of anywhere she would rather be.

Delphine spent most of the trip looking out the window at the city up ahead. Cosima spent most of the trip looking at Delphine.

When the ship was about ten minutes out from the San Francisco’s notorious Ferry Building, Cosima’s stomach growled loudly. She glanced over at Delphine who was trying very hard to pretend like she hadn’t noticed the noise. The blonde’s lips twitched, trying to contain a smile.

“Hungry, ma chérie?” Delphine questioned.

“I’m not allowed to eat anything before the test,” Cosima replied. She attempted to pout but couldn’t keep up with the act for long.

“Well we will have to feast afterwards to make up for this atrocity,” the blonde suggested, pinching her partner’s side.

“Do you know of any good places?” the shorter woman questioned.

Delphine shrugged, “I lived in the city for seven years. I think I can find us some half-way decent food.”

“Seven years? Really?” Cosima looked shocked.

The blonde just giggled at her partner’s expression. 

“Don’t worry, I will give you the grand tour,” Delphine replied nonchalantly.

 

Once they had made it to the clinic where Cosima would be receiving her PET scan, the dreadlocked woman was quickly ushered into a separate room, leaving Delphine alone in the bustling waiting room.

She picked up a worn copy of National Geographic and began to read about the indigenous peoples of the Amazon.

About ten minutes later, a heavy-boned nurse strutted out into the waiting room.

“Is there a Delphine out here?” she called out to the small crowd of people, all waiting for their loved ones to complete the test.

Delphine tentatively raised her arm. “Um, my name is Delphine.”

The nurse waved her along. “Well alright then, do you mind coming with me? We could use your assistance.”

The blonde’s brows knit together, but she decided against asking any questions. She quickly gathered up her belongings and followed the anxious nurse down the hallway.

Upon arriving at the small exam room down the corridor, Delphine was shocked to find Cosima cowering in the corner of the room. She froze at the sight of her obviously terrified partner.

Cosima, on the other hand, could not stop shaking. She felt as if an elephant had sat upon her chest; she could hear her heart pounding in her ears. The whole world felt like it was closing in around her.

“What did you do to her?” the blonde whispered angrily to the nurse.

The woman beside her raised her hands in submission. “We just gave her an injection of the FDG, but I promise you this is not a reaction to that. She seems to be having a panic attack. We figured you would be more of a calming presence to her than we are.”

Delphine nodded, but still wouldn’t look at the nurse. She timidly walked over to Cosima and crouched down beside her.

“What can I do to help you?” Delphine whispered to her partner.

Cosima just stared at her shaking hands. She felt like she was drowning.

“I can’t breathe, I can’t breathe,” the dreadlocked woman began to chant as she gripped at the flannel wrapped tight around her chest.

Delphine sat right next to Cosima, but was careful not to touch her.

“I know a trick that might help you breathe easier. Do you want to try it?” she questioned her smaller partner.

Cosima just barely nodded her head.

Delphine smiled softly at the obviously shaken girl. “Okay, take your index finger and place it on your thigh like this.”

The blonde demonstrated the action on her own leg, careful not to touch Cosima, who was already starting to mimic Delphine’s actions.

“Great,” Delphine encouraged her partner, “Next, you just start tracing a square on your leg. Breathe in as you draw a line up. Hold your breath as you draw a line to the right. Breathe out as you draw a line down, and then hold the breath as you draw a line to the left.”

Cosima’s shaky finger started to draw a square just as Delphine’s was.

“That’s perfect Cosima,” Delphine continued. “Now with each new square, make your lines a little bit longer.”

After a few minutes of drawing the squares Cosima’s breathing returned to normal and the tightness in her chest released. She let out a long deep sigh.

 

“That’s never happened to me before,” Cosima muttered, embarrassed by her outburst. “I just kept seeing my mom, with all those tubes in her chest, gasping for air.”

She paused, obviously overwhelmed by the image. Delphine reverently held Cosima’s hand.

“I’m sorry for the outburst,” the dreadlocked woman muttered nervously.

Delphine began to play with the silver rings adorning Cosima’s fingers.

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Delphine replied softly. She looked over at her partner. “I used to have panic attacks pretty regularly, actually.”

Cosima’s face softened at the crestfallen look on Delphine’s face.

“No one should have to go through that alone,” the blonde continued, her voice just above a whisper.

The smaller woman laid her head against Delphine’s shoulder and took a deep calming breath. They sat like that, curled tightly together just listening to each other breathe, for the next hour until the squat nurse from earlier came in.

“Ms. Niehaus, the medication should be ready now if you’d like to come get the scan done,” the nurse spoke out to them cautiously. “It should take no more than 15 minutes, and I promise there won’t be any needles.”

Delphine softly rubbed her hand along Cosima’s thigh.

“What do you think?” she questioned.

Cosima breathed in the naturalist’s lavender perfume once more before sighing.

“I think I can do this.”

Delphine observed at her carefully.

“Are you sure?” the blonde reiterated.

She nodded and gave Delphine a tight but grateful smile.  With a small squeeze to the shorter woman’s hand, Delphine stood up. With each step the blonde took towards the door, Cosima felt the room become colder and colder.

“I will be just outside if you need me,” Delphine assured her partner.

With that she walked out the door, leaving the room eerily still once more.  

 

As soon as Delphine had left, Cosima immediately wanted to call her back, but decided that one break down was enough for today.

She tentatively laid down on the table in front of her and continued to draw squares on her leg in order to keep calm while the nurse started up the scan.   

 

When Cosima made it back out to the packed waiting room, Delphine was cooing to a small baby who was sitting on her mother’s lap, grinning up at the blonde.

Cosima couldn’t blame the baby; it was hard not to be enamored with Delphine, especially when she was smiling down at you.

“Hey,” the charmed dreadlocked woman uttered as she approached her partner.

Delphine’s cheeks tinged red, embarrassed at having been caught.

“That was fast!” the blonde woman exclaimed.

Cosima chuckled nervously, still humiliated by her earlier behavior, “Yeah, I guess waiting for the injection to work is the longest part.”

Standing up beside the shorter woman, Delphine once more laced their fingers together. The blonde had been doing it so often now that Cosima had come to expect it.

“What do you think? Should we go get some lunch?” Cosima questioned.

Delphine grinned, “I was wondering how long it would take you to ask.”

She waved goodbye to the child she had been communing with before leading Cosima out of the overly- sterile clinic.

 

The two were wandering through North Beach hand in hand, when Delphine stopped abruptly in front of an old Victorian home. Cosima stared up at the ornate building that looked almost like a disheveled dollhouse. Vines wound around the building’s façade, and even managed to hide some of its cracking paint.

She could tell this place was important just by the way Delphine was holding her arms stiffly by her side. It was almost as if the blonde was using her body as a shield to protect herself from any memories that might spill out from the house in front of them.

“Bienvenue chez moi,” Delphine whispered.

Cosima softly smiled up at her partner, “That sounded beautiful, but I’m afraid I don’t remember much of my high school French.”

The blonde beside her inhaled deeply in an attempt to relieve some of the tension caught in her shoulders.

“This is my house,” Delphine replied. “Well, it was my house.”

A huge grin took over Cosima’s face. “What? No way! Baby Delphine lived here?!”

The blonde chuckled, “No, not as a baby. I lived in Annecy until I was 13, but this was my first home in America.”

“Ah, so angsty teenage Delphine lived here.”

Delphine nodded, her disposition becoming solemn once more. “Yes, something like that.”

Cosima rubbed her thumb along the back of Delphine’s hand, “Hey, you alright?”

She leaned into the taller woman as tears began to well in Delphine’s eyes.

“I’m fine,”the blonde muttered. “This place just holds some bad memories.”

 

Cosima’s chest ached as she watched Delphine attempt to maintain her composure. What was it about this woman, that at the sight of her tears, Cosima felt like breaking down too?

“That was my room,” Delphine said as she pointed to a small window just above the main entrance. “I shared it with Mathieu for a few years until he went off to college. “

“Mathieu?” Cosima questioned.

“My big brother.”

A large gust of wind surrounded the two causing Cosima to huddle in closer. She could tell there was more to the story than Delphine was divulging, but she really didn’t want to push it.

“Come on,” Delphine urged as she tugged on Cosima’s hand. “We should go get you some food, get out of this cold.”

Cosima stared up at the decaying house once more. She wondered what ghosts the house held.

“I was thinking pizza,” the dreadlocked woman stated, her face still contemplative. She wrapped an arm around Delphine and rubbed small circles on the taller woman’s lower back.

The two locked eyes making Cosima feel warm for the first time since she stepped into this city.

“I know just the place,” Delphine replied.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have loved chatting with all of you on tumblr over the past week! Please do not hesitate to send a message! 
> 
> Also, part two of San Francisco will be coming soon!


	11. Chapter 11

Down the road from Delphine’s childhood home stood an old pizza parlor called Tony’s. The place didn’t have many attendees when she and Cosima sat down for a late lunch, but Delphine was grateful for the privacy.

It was a family joint the Cormier family visited often throughout their time in the city. Delphine had always been fond of its distinct scent of yeast and dried basil.

A large margherita pizza sat between Cosima and Delphine, a few pieces already missing due to Cosima’s rapturous appetite.  The blonde was merely using her fork to push around lettuce leafs in her salad.  

“Cosima?” Delphine spoke up as the dreadlocked woman’s mouth was full of steaming hot cheese.

“Hm?”

“You know how a lot of our campers are at Wyatt Hill because of a program through social services?”

Cosima quickly swallowed the large bite of pizza, wincing as she felt the burning piece travel down her trachea.

She cleared her throat. “Yeah, they come because they’re at risk, right? Like they come from poorer families or have parents in jail.”

Delphine pushed a cherry tomato around her plate.

“Exactly,” she replied her eyes focused on her salad plate. “Sometimes we will have kids who come because they experienced some kind of trauma or abuse.”

Nodding in agreement, Cosima took a sip of her lemonade. She wasn’t quite sure what the blonde was getting at.

“It seems like a really worthwhile program,” Cosima added. “I’m glad we have it.”

She watched her partner from across the table. It was obvious that Delphine wanted to add more, but wasn’t quite sure what to say.

“Did Siobhan ever tell you about how we met?” the blonde muttered, her voice barely above a whisper.

Instantly, a knot formed in Cosima’s stomach.

“No, I don’t think she did.”

“I didn’t get to go as a camper,” Delphine began, “but when I was 15 some social workers encouraged me to be a cabin leader.”

She reached out to grab her glass of red, her hand subtly quivering.

“My, um” the blonde cleared her throat. “My father was not the nicest man.”

She paused, as if trying to find the right words to say.

“He was arrested a couple of months before I went to Wyatt Hill because of his… mistreatment of me.”

Delphine methodically rubbed her arm back and forth. “He was…violent.”

 “Whenever he didn’t want to deal with me, he’d just lock me in my room, sometimes for days on end.” She took a deep shaky breath, “I’d just sit at that window all day, watching people walk by, imagining what life would be like if I was out there with them.”

Cosima’s chest literally ached as she watched Delphine try to keep it together.

“I’m afraid it’s made me incredibly claustrophobic,” the blonde added.

The brunette wanted to hold the woman across from her. She wanted to at least attempt to bring some form of comfort to her, but was unsure of how Delphine would react.

“Is that why you are the only naturalist who has their own cabin?”

Delphine nodded, “It’s also why I spend as much time as possible outdoors.”

Cosima grabbed both of her partner’s hands. “I’m so sorry that happened to you, Delphine.”

Tears welled in the naturalist’s hazel eyes as she smiled sadly at the woman across from her.

“I just… I thought you should know,” Delphine added, her voice strained.  “I _really_ have enjoyed spending all this time with you, Cosima. I’m sorry I’ve made it so difficult on you.”

Cosima reached across the small table and caught a tear traveling down Delphine’s face. She held the blonde’s cheek reverently.

“I’m sorry I tried to rush you into something you weren’t ready for,” the brunette replied earnestly.

Delphine leaned into Cosima’s hand, absorbing as much warmth as she could.  After allowing herself a few moments of comfort, the blonde slumped back into her chair, the depth of their conversation weighing heavily on her.

“Can we go do something fun?” the blonde suggested. “I think we could both use it.”

“Of course,” Cosima replied automatically. “We can do whatever you want.”

 

It was because of this proposition that Cosima decided to take Delphine to a large warehouse located at the end of Pier 45. A giant red sign above the building read “Musée Mécanique”.

Delphine grinned at her partner.

“It’s French?” she questioned, her voice shrill with excitement.

Cosima couldn’t help but smile at the woman’s obvious enthusiasm.

“There’s not much about it that is French besides the name,” the dreadlocked woman revealed, “but it very well may be my favorite place in this city.”

The blonde stared lovingly down at her.  “Well let’s go then!”

 

Once inside, Delphine noticed the building itself wasn’t much to look at.  It was spacious and rather plain, but she immediately understood why Cosima loved this place so much.

Packed in neat rows were dozens of arcade games that looked straight out of the mid-1900s.

“What is this place?”

“It’s a museum of old games. I used to come here all the time with my mom. Granted back then, it was in a different location,” Cosima explained.

The place was packed with families, all out for the day. Many of the machines, Delphine noted, were quite bizarre. There will little marionettes demonstrating a hanging in a town square, miniature toy buffalos preparing to fight, and dozens of fortune tellers trapped in grand glass boxes.

The two walked up to a cracked wooden box that had a small eye portal. Above the machine a sign read “See what the belly dancer does on her day off!”

Delphine frowned at the sign.

“What does that mean?” she questioned.

“Porn from the 1900s,” Cosima grinned. “It was my favorite machine when I was like 12.”

A mischievous smile quickly appeared on Delphine’s face. She fished into Cosima’s pocket for a quarter, and put the coin in the machine.

The shorter woman just watched her partner, completely amused by the blonde’s reaction.

After about ten seconds, Delphine pulled her face away from the viewer.

“That was a very risqué bathing suit,” the blonde stated sagely.

Cosima pinched at Delphine’s sides causing the taller woman to squirm away.

“Now who’s the cheeky one,” Cosima exclaimed.

Delphine stuck her tongue out.

“Alright, alright,” the brunette replied. “Which one is next?”

They walked by a brightly decorated machine that resembled a large peppermint candy. Delphine stopped in front of the game and looked at the brunette. There was a question written all over her face Cosima was just dying to know the answer to.

She took a closer look at the machine Delphine was eying. In bright pink letters the machine read “Kiss-o-meter”.

Butterflies swarmed in Cosima’s stomach; the palms of her hands became clammy.

“How could this possibly work?” the brunette asked, her voice slightly strained.

Delphine bit her lower lip and shrugged. “We could always try it out and see. For science.”

Cosima couldn’t help but grin at the blonde’s logic.

“Yeah?” she questioned.

Reaching over into Cosima’s pocket once more, Delphine pulled out a quarter and held it up to her partner.

“Why not?” the blonde replied.

The smaller woman knew that if she took that quarter from Delphine there would be no going back. She glanced back and forth between the coin and her partner. Was this really happening?

In a sudden burst of insane courage, Cosima snatched the quarter from Delphine’s hand and placed it in the machine’s slot. With a tentative smile, she gripped the metal joystick at the base of the machine meant to measure the intensity of the kiss.

The two inched slowly together as if an invisible magnetic force were pulling them together.

Cosima felt her heartrate quicken. Delphine’s tongue darted out and quickly wet her lips.

 

In an instant all the tension and anticipation that had been building between them over the past few weeks was over. Their lips softly collided as the giant wheel behind them whirled around, neither paying much attention to the old machine.

As the kiss deepened, Delphine grew more confident, wrapping her arms tightly around Cosima’s waist. The shorter woman rose up on her tiptoes in an attempt to get closer.

Cosima had never been so caught up in a kiss. Despite the throngs of people around them, the brunette only noticed the softness of Delphine’s lips and how her chapstick tasted of peppermint.

Just as a discreet moan escaped from the back of Delphine’s throat, the arcade game beside them started screaming.

The blonde jumped back startled as the machine hollered and flashed bright lights. Its giant pink arrow had landed on “Too hot, let’s go again”, which was apparently the highest score.

Once she had gotten her breathing under control, Delphine quirked an eyebrow, amused by the machine’s response.

Cosima played with the hairs at the base of Delphine’s neck.

“Well if the machine insists,” she whispered just loudly enough for the blonde to hear her.

Delphine leaned in and pecked the corner of the shorter woman’s mouth.

“What have I gotten myself into?” the blonde replied as a large grin took over her face.

 

Later that evening just as the sun was setting over the hills of San Francisco, the two sat huddled together in the back of their ferry home. They nibbled at a loaf of sourdough bread shaped like a turtle and swapped hushed stories of their favorite times in the city, neither willing to say that none of those times could possibly top today.

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

Storm clouds rolled across the vast sky above Wyatt Hill as Cosima put out fresh hay for the animals. She had been put on barn duty for the week, and for once was pleased by her assigned task. Every morning she would wake up just before the sun and put out some fresh food for the small assortment of farm animals that lived at the camp.

Then, just after two in the afternoon, she was responsible for cleaning out the stalls and making sure they got their appropriate medications.  Instead of just feeding and cleaning up after the animals, however, Cosima enjoyed hanging out with her furry friends.

She had always loved the school’s collection of stubborn goats and docile donkeys. Whenever she would visit Siobhan growing up, Cosima often spent most of her time lying on the barn’s floor surrounded by the animals. It had always been a refuge for her, a place of comfort. Even now, she felt at peace in that barn. After all, there wasn’t much in the way of wildlife in Los Angeles besides the small yappy dogs socialites carried in their purses.

Since coming back to camp, she had seen the barn in a new light, though. Whenever Delphine suggested they bring their campers, she couldn’t help but get a little protective of the place. This was _her_ sanctuary, after all.

As she scratched behind one of the more affectionate donkey’s ears, Cosima couldn’t help but wonder if that was a part of growing up. The things and experiences you thought had been exclusively yours were suddenly no longer unique to you. Other people had listened to that song that set your soul on fire. Others had cried laughing while watching that movie, or even snuggled with Jenny, the sweetest goat at Wyatt Hill. Did the act of someone else sharing in your experiences make them less important, less special?

“You don’t love them like you love me, right girl?” Cosima whispered as she nuzzled her forehead against Jenny’s.

A soft laugh echoed throughout the small enclosure. Cosima quickly turned around, trying to find where the noise had emanated from. There standing in the doorway in a pair of tight jeans and a worn fleece jacket, stood the woman she couldn’t quite seem to get out of her mind.

“Sorry to disturb you,” Delphine mumbled to the obviously startled brunette.

There it was again, that palpable pull that had made things unusually tense the past few days. They had gotten back to San Francisco late Saturday evening and hadn’t had a moment alone since.  On Sunday, Cosima was on trail duty and spent most of the day forging new paths and cleaning up old ones while Delphine was stuck in the kitchen.

Of course the two had worked together on Monday and Tuesday, but things between them were obviously different when they had the questioning eyes of eight kids following them all day. Cosima knew their time in San Francisco would change things between her and Delphine, she just didn’t think the change would be this awkward.

What was it that had made things between them so difficult since Saturday? Was it the crushing weight of reality? The realization that they weren’t alone anymore?

Or was it something deeper.  Something neither was quite willing to talk about.

They’d stumbled past that bumbling stage of trying to figure out if their feelings were reciprocated, but for what? To have a month long fling? Was a few weeks of happiness really worth the inevitable heartbreak?

 

Despite the obvious unease, Cosima was happy, for the first time in a long time. She hadn’t thought about nodules, or pet scans, or her mother, for even a minute during this past week. All she could think about were blonde curls and crooked smiles that seemed to fill her stomach with butterflies. 

It had only been three days since San Francisco and already Cosima found her thoughts completely consumed by Delphine. It worried her that someone she barely knew could already mean so much. How could she be this happy, while still being this unsure?

Of course she didn’t say any of this to Delphine, who was still pushing at some loose hay on the ground with her foot.

“I just wanted to let you know that the last bus of students has been sent home for the weekend,” the blonde added, interrupting Cosima’s thoughts.

Giving Jenny one last pat, Cosima walked over to where Delphine was standing.

“Whenever I visited as a kid, I always wondered why all the campers were gone on the Fourth of July,” Cosima replied. “Now, I cannot imagine having all those kids here demanding fireworks. It sounds like a disaster just waiting to happen.”

“Definitely one of Siobhan’s smarter ideas,” Delphine agreed.

The taller woman stared down at her hands and became far too fascinated with her fingernails.

“What’s up?” Cosima questioned.

Delphine folded her hands together in an effort to stop fidgeting.

“I was thinking, if you didn’t have anything to do tonight-”

“I don’t,” Cosima yelped, far too eagerly.

Delphine looked up at her and grinned.

“Come over to my place?” the blonde questioned.

Cosima just nodded eagerly, not trusting herself to reply in a calm manner.

“Chouette,” Delphine replied. “Um…how about after dinner?”

The brunette rocked back on her heels, nervous energy now flowing through her body.

 “I’ll be there.”

 

It was just after seven when she made it to Delphine’s cabin. The space was different from what she remembered. It was somehow smaller, more intimate.

A small fire crackled in the hearth while Delphine poured out two glasses of Chardonnay. She handed one to Cosima who was sitting rigidly on the end of Delphine’s bed.

“Thank you,” the brunette murmured with a demure smile.

Delphine smiled in response. She sat beside Cosima, one leg tucked up underneath her, and cleared her throat.

Raising the glass up to her partner, Delphine spoke up for the first time all evening.

“To Jenny,” the blonde announced, her voice softly teasing.

Cosima grinned and clinked her glass with Delphine’s good-naturedly, eager for the relief a little liquid courage would provide.

“To Jenny?” the brunette questioned just before taking a sip of the chilled white wine.

Delphine stared into Cosima’s eyes, a small smile graced her lips. “For being the only goat I was ever jealous of.”

The smaller woman chuckled, “Jenny should be jealous of you! I left her side the moment you appeared in the barn today.”

Delphine placed her hand atop Cosima’s. “Well it’s good to know that you like me more than a goat.”

Still a little nervous, Cosima leaned in and placed a gentle placating kiss to the corner of Delphine’s mouth.

“I can say with all honesty that I like you more than every goat that has ever existed,” she whispered, her face centimeters away from the blondes.

Delphine shook her head and chuckled, “Such a romantic.”

A deep rumbling sound tore across the darkened sky. Cosima whipped her head around towards the noise, her dreads softly smacking Delphine in the face.

Small droplets of rain began to skid down the cabin’s windowpane.

Cosima turned back to the blonde who was raising her eyebrows in confusion.

“Rain in July,” the brunette said with a bewildered smile. “You don’t see that often in Los Angeles.”

A tentative finger skimmed up Cosima’s arm.

“Stay the night with me,” Delphine replied in a sort of trance.

 She instantly tensed after hearing the words leave her mouth. Cosima just stared at her partner, absolutely shocked by the proposition.

“I didn’t mean for it to sound like that,” the blonde stuttered out nervously. “I just meant that it’s cold and wet outside and we could watch some old movies, or play charades, or-”

Cosima cut her off with a searing kiss. Delphine melted into the smaller woman’s touch. Just barely pulling back, the brunette rested her head against her partner’s forehead.

“What movies do you have?” she whispered against Delphine’s mouth.

 

For the rest of the evening, the two cuddled close, their limbs tangled together while old Audrey Hepburn films played on Delphine’s laptop.

 

Cosima awoke the next morning to the steady staccato of rain bouncing off of the tin roof. With the roaring fire now silenced, the cabin was far colder than it had been the previous evening. She snuggled into the warm body behind her. On instinct, the sleeping blonde wrapped an arm around Cosima’s torso, enveloping the smaller woman in heat.

As Delphine’s chest steadily rose in and out against her back, Cosima couldn’t help but smile. She wanted this every morning...to hold and be held.

A feather-light kiss was pressed against her left shoulder blade. Instantly goosebumps spread along her scantily clad torso. She rolled over and was met with bright hazel eyes staring into hers. Rationally, Cosima knew it was too soon to talk about love, or to promise forever, but that didn’t stop her from thinking about it.

Perhaps it was true that growing up meant fewer experiences that were uniquely yours, but she knew without a doubt that Delphine didn’t look at anyone else the way she was looking at her just now. As if the stars were in Cosima’s eyes.

 Maybe that was enough.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for missing a posting last week. The real world has been a bit harsh lately. 
> 
> As always, thank you for all of your reviews and kudos. They truly brighten even the darkest of days.


	13. Chapter 13

The morning that followed was full of breakfast in bed and syrupy kisses. Cosima learned Delphine would not touch a pancake unless it had at least five chocolate chips in it, and Delphine learned that Cosima could eat an entire can of whipped cream in one sitting, with very little effort.

In fact, the entire morning was rather peaceful and domestic. That is, until Cosima’s cell phone began to chirp. Pulling herself away from the warmth of Delphine’s arms, the smaller woman grabbed the small device emitting cricket noises.

Her heart sunk as she read the name printed on the screen smudged with her fingerprints. It was Dr. Haverford. 

She hesitantly accepted the call.

“Good morning, Cosima,” the doctor’s warm voice boomed through her cell phone. “I’m sorry to call you so early, but I figured it would be wise to call as soon as I heard back from the offices in San Francisco.”

Cosima’s stomach clenched.

“Oh,” she muttered in response. “You’ve heard back already?”

She tried her best to not look over at Delphine, who was now perched on the end of the bed, a fresh coat of worry coating her face.

“I have, yes,” Dr. Haverford replied.  “I would appreciate if you came into my office at your earliest convenience to go over the results. How about Monday morning?”

“Um, yeah,” Cosima choked out. “I’ll make Monday work.  Any time in particular?”

“How about nine?”

She rubbed at the chill spreading up her arms.  “Nine, yeah. I’ll be there.”

 “Good, good,” the doctor responded, a little hesitance in his voice. “Please make sure to get some rest this weekend.”

She sputtered out a reply before hanging up the phone and collapsing back on Delphine’s bed. He had done nothing to alleviate the tension in her stomach. In fact, she felt worse now than she had in weeks.

Soft fingers trailed up Cosima’s arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

“Chicken?”

A shaky smile appeared on the brunette’s face.

“He wants to tell me the PET scan results on Monday morning,” Cosima replied, a quiver in her lower lip.

Delphine pressed a feather light kiss to Cosima’s temple.

“Well, no need to worry about it yet, then,” the Frenchwoman attempted to reassure Cosima.

The brunette’s brows knit together. “What do you mean no need to worry? If it was nothing to worry about he would’ve just told me over the phone.”

“You don’t know that,” Delphine replied rather unconvincingly. She wrapped her arms around Cosima’s waist, causing Cosima to instantly relax into the taller woman.

“We’ll get through this together, alright?” Delphine whispered softly. “No matter what happens.”

For a few moments Cosima lay still, soaking in every ounce of comfort Delphine was willing to give.

“It’s going to be an awfully long weekend,” the brunette sighed.

Delphine absent-mindedly stroked the small strip of flesh exposed between Cosima’s yoga pants and tank top.

“I think, I can help get your mind off of Monday morning,” Delphine murmured.

A wolfish grin broke out on Cosima’s face.

“Oh yeah?” the brunette hummed. She threaded Delphine’s hand with her own after placing a delicate kiss to the center of her palm.

Delphine grinned. “We should grab one of the spare tents and camp out in the woods for the night.”

Cosima’s smile fell. “Camping?”

Delphine’s brow furrowed.

“You don’t want to go?” the blonde questioned, a tinge of sadness present in her response.

“Aren’t we kind of doing that already?” Cosima replied.

“We’re staying in cabins…”

“Yeah, so isn’t that like the better version of camping? Less bugs, more indoor plumbing?”

“Oh, well, I suppose,” Delphine acquiesced, obviously disappointed.

Staring out the window into the thick woods, the blonde had a sort of far off look in her eyes, as if she were no longer limited by the cabin’s walls.

“There’s just something romantic about it, I think,” she dreamed aloud. “Sleeping out under the stars, the chill of the night sinking into the tent, sharing a sleeping bag to keep warm.”

 

Once Cosima saw that dreamy look on Delphine’s face, she knew there was no point in trying to convince the blonde of all the fun they could have within the comforting confines of the cabin’s four walls. Nothing she could come up with could possibly compare to the adventure Delphine was obviously longing for.

It was with this in mind that Cosima conceded and quickly helped Delphine load up the Prius with gear. After all, if Cosima was going to sacrifice the comfort of a mattress and flushing toilet, she was most certainly not going to exert herself physically to get to the campground.

The two drove throughout the numerous acres of Wyatt Hill until Delphine came to a spot she was particularly fond of.

The small clearing Delphine had chosen as their campground for the evening was surrounded by massive redwoods towering above them. A wandering stream dribbled nearby. The water was far enough away to keep the bugs at bay, but close enough to still hear it trickling down the hill. Cosima had to admit it, the place was pretty serene.

With that being said, she still was not too keen on the idea of sleeping out in the open like this, with just a measly tent to protect them from the elements. The ever-present smile on Delphine’s face, though, was enough to make Cosima willing to suffer through the next few days of inevitable scratching from mosquito bites.

As the two set up camp, the sun slowly inched across the cloudy summer sky. Delphine had assured Cosima that rain was no longer in the weather forecast, but the brunette couldn’t help but notice the ponchos stuffed into the bottom of Delphine’s pack.

“Cosima?” the blonde chirped, drawing the smaller woman’s attention away from the threatening clouds above. “Do you mind driving that stake over there into the ground?”

Crouching down by the corner of the tent Delphine was referring to, Cosima attempted to do as the blonde asked, but got incredibly distracted when she noticed the way the small amount of sun peering out from behind the blanket of clouds managed to make Delphine’s blonde curls look as if they were glowing.

Delphine cocked her head at her distracted partner.

“What are you looking at?”

“You,” Cosima softly replied.

In an attempt to hide the blush she was sure was now covering her face, Delphine stared down at her worn boots.

“If you help me get this tent up, you can stare at me all you want for the rest of the day.”

“Promise?” Cosima questioned, a grin spread across her face.   
Delphine chuckled and shook her head. “Promise.”

 

After a lunch of canned soup and grilled cheese, Delphine and Cosima collapsed on the little nest of down sleeping bags and plush pillows they had created earlier in the day. Delphine read her worn copy of “Anne of Green Gables” aloud as Cosima played with the small curls gathered at the base of the blonde’s neck. 

There was something so innately relaxing about being out here with Delphine. Perhaps it was the lack of a clock ticking away their time together. She found it impossible for her mind to wander when there was a constant breeze to remind her of every hair follicle on her body.

“We should go to Prince Edward Island, someday” Delphine muttered to Cosima. She didn’t dare speak louder than a whisper, for fear of waking the forest around them.

Cosima grinned up at her.

“You want to have your own adventure in Avonlea? Wander down Lover’s Lane hand in hand?” the brunette teased.

Delphine leaned down and kissed the smug smile off of Cosima’s mouth.

“Oui,” she replied. “I do.”

Leaning into the blonde’s statuesque frame, Cosima left a trail of kisses up Delphine’s neck and nibbled on the blonde’s earlobe. A confident hand snaked up Delphine’s sweater and toyed with the lace of her bra.

“Cosima?”

“Hmm?” the brunette replied absent-mindedly as she caressed the soft flesh beneath the taller woman’s bra.

Delphine placed the palms of her hands on Cosima’s torso and hesitantly pushed her away.

“Please stop,” she uttered softly.

 

Cosima slowly pulled away from Delphine.

“Everything okay?”

The taller woman turned her head away, obviously attempting to keep her composure.

Large glossy tears slipped down her cheeks.  Instantly, Cosima felt her throat constrict.

“Did I, um, do something wrong?” the brunette asked, her voice full of worry.

Delphine hastily wiped at her eyes. She covered her face with shaky hands.

Cosima wanted nothing more than to comfort the obviously destressed woman, but was afraid she would do more harm than good.

After a few moments of steady deep breaths, Delphine pulled her hands away from her face, revealing swollen red eyes. Cosima had never seen her so upset.

“You are one of the best things to ever happen to me,” Delphine murmured.  “Probably only second to coming to Wyatt Hill all those years ago.”

It took a moment for the brunette to figure out how to respond.

“You’re one of the best things to happen to me too,” Cosima replied, her eyes wide with worry, “Why is that making you upset, though?”

Methodically, the taller woman began to pick at the skin around her fingernails.

“It’s not, it’s not,” she stuttered out, now scraping her skin raw.

Ignoring the potential ramifications, Cosima quickly covered Delphine’s hands with her own.

The blonde looked away from her hands and into Cosima’s eyes.

“I can’t sleep with you tonight,” Delphine spat out.

The look of worry on Cosima’s face instantly morphed into one of confusion.

“Okay….sorry I read the signals wrong?”

A long sigh tumbled out of the taller woman’s mouth.

“You didn’t,” Delphine stuttered. “I _want_ to want to. I want to be one of those girls who can sleep with their girlfriend without freaking out. I’m just… not ready, yet, I guess”

“Alright, no problem. We don’t have to do anything tonight. It’s not a big deal.”

Delphine shut her eyes in frustration.

“It _is_ a big deal,” she replied. “It’s _always_ been a big deal. No one wants to just sit in a tent and read a fucking children’s story with their girlfriend. ”

 

Cosima reached over and brushed a stray curl behind Delphine’s ear.

“Do you think that’s all I want from you?” the brunette asked, without a hint of malice in her voice. “To just have sex with you? Is that why you think I’m here? Why I’m with you?”

Delphine shrugged.

“I want to be with you because I like spending time with you, and hearing you laugh, and holding you. I want to be with you because when I’m with you, I’m a better person. None of the rest of it matters, okay? Besides, I like when you read to me.”

With a timid smile, Delphine climbed between Cosima’s legs and cuddled into the smaller woman’s chest.

“Don’t get me wrong, I think sex with you would be amazing,” Cosima added, “mind-blowing even…but not unless you were one thousand percent sure it was what you wanted.”

Tilting the brunette’s mouth down to meet hers, Delphine kissed her shyly.  

“I promise, I’m not saying never,” the blonde whispered, “just not now.”

Cosima kissed her reassuringly.

 “Hey, no pressure,” she insisted. “I may be a little upset if you just leave me hanging with that chapter, though. I’m convinced Diana and Anne are secretly in love.”   

Delphine grinned.

“I always thought the same thing.”

 


End file.
